You guys, sorry for neglecting you! I have been crazy busy and AFTER I was crazy busy, I went to visit my mom in Hawaii and have yet to return. It’s really hard to write with all this sunshine and tropical fruit. But here is my weekly column from iEatGrass.com! And you can also keep up with me at XOJane.com. Sorry! Stay tuned for more island adventure fun…

I’m being facetious. This was my real life this week, and NOT a fantasy. #bragbragbrag

If your Valentine’s day was more Love Stinks than Love Actually, then you might welcome a little bit of fantasy right about now.

Fantasy, or “pretending” as you called it in your youth, can be a useful tool in all facets of your life. All those uplifting think-yourself-happy motivational types swear by using fantasy to improve yourself, except they call it “visualizing.” Visualizing yourself landing that promotion or killing that presentation will make you more likely to do so. That’s all good and well, but none of that is as fun as sexytime fantasizing.

Sexual fantasy allows you to explore sides of your sexuality you may not be able to in real life, and it creates a safe, super hot space for you to retreat to when you need a little, cough, motivation. Role playing? Done. Bondage? Yes please. Sex in public? On it! Sex with your ex, or best friend, or teacher, or boss? You betcha. Pony play? Uhm…maybe?

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