So your live-in partner doesn’t eat like you? Bummersauce. What’s a vegan (gluten-free, dairy-free, paleo or nut-free) to do?

Sharing a space with someone who is very different than you can be frustrating, but when food is involved, it can get even stickier. If you’ve ever found cheese in your tofu drawer or come home to a surprise fridge full of meat, then you know what I’m talking about. Food is emotional, sentimental, and important. And, if you’re someone set in your ways, well change is scary!

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Fall is well underway, with winter already whispering frosty sweet nothings late at night. In case you didn’t know, fall and winter are the official cuffing season, so many single-folk are looking for someone to cozy-up with through the holidays.

If you’re a single vegan, then you already know that finding another single vegan who you are mutually attracted to can be seriously tough. While not all vegans are adamant about dating another veg-head, some wouldn’t even consider going to dinner—let alone bed—with someone who eats meat. If that sounds like you, then here are 4 tips for finding another vegan, excerpted from The Lusty Vegan, co-written by myself and Chef Ayinde Howell and available now wherever books are sold.

4 Tips For Finding Another Vegan to Date

So, you’re looking to meet a vegan, eh? One who is not going to alienate your family members at Thanksgiving with tales from the slaughterhouse. One who is a total kitchen wizard and knows that vegan cooking has evolved way past steaming raw veggies or molding nuts into a loaf. Seriously, you want a compassionate foodie that can flambé and sauté like a boss. Okay, maybe you will just settle for a big heart and winning smile and moderate microwaving skills.

If you’re a man looking for a vegan lady, you’ve got an easier road ahead of you, as there are more vegan girls out there. But even single vegan dudesters have been writing in to iEatGrass, inquiring how to meet a vegan lady—even ones in booming veg-friendly metropolises like Los Angeles!

So maybe you’re all prepped. You have a bedside table stocked with Sir Richard’s or Sustain condoms and cruelty free toys, yet you can’t find a plant-based playmate to share a magical evening with. What’s a lusty vegan to do? Here are a few tips on finding a vegan bed buddy, be it for a night of excitement, or a lifetime of spooning and vegan baby-making.

1. Stalk your local hot spots. 
If you’re still in the bar-hopping time of your life, then the obvious choice for meeting a mate is at a bar. But considering that bars are not the normal vegan hang-out, and you probably aren’t looking for an average man or woman (because vegans are sooo above average, helloo!) a bar probably is not your best shot. Unless of course, it’s a vegan bar! Those do exist in Brooklyn, and probably Austin, and maybe Portland. Anyway, what you need to do is head to a vegan-friendly hang out. This can differ depending on your location. A yoga studio with a raw juice bar probably attracts a heavy cruciferous crowd. A vegan-friendly coffee shop is also a good bet. Set up your computer or bring a good book and eye-stalk everyone that walks in the door. See something you like? Strike up a convo. Another tip? When you head to that vegan spot, wear that lucky “I Heart Kale” shirt, or even better, an “I Eat Grass” tee. That way, you’re easy to spot, and obviously very hip.

2. Spread the word. 
If you are really set on finding a vegan partner, tell everyone you know. I mean, everyone. You never know who has a cute single vegan co-worker or gym buddy. This is how my mother met her life partner. She started telling everyone she was on the lookout, and one of her friends happened to know a single, crunchy, outdoorsy dude from yoga. Ten years and two farms later, the pair is still adorably inseparable. If no one knows you’re looking, they can’t set you up. However, be specific in what you’re looking for. If you’re just looking for a one-night stand or short fling, it may be best not to date friends of friends, as things can quickly become more awkward than the time my birth-coach aunt cornered my boyfriend at a family party and started telling him what an amazing organ the vagina is.

3. Get involved.
 I know I am telling you to look look look for a vegan mate, but often you find someone when you’re not looking. Get involved with things in your community you’re passionate about, and you are more likely to find someone with similar interests. When you have the same routine (yoga, work, drinks in the same social circle) week after week, it’s hard to meet fresh faces. So, volunteer at a shelter, local community garden, or vegan organization. Even if you don’t meet someone datable there, you may make new friends (who could possibly set you up!) or at least get involved in a passion project and give back. Good karma points for you!

4. Get online.
 Online dating isn’t for everyone, but there are a good amount of online sources for vegans these days. There are also vegan speed dating events. Or, you don’t have to join a network specifically for singles; any vegan meet-up will do.

Looking for more?  The Lusty Vegan, A Dating Manifesto for Vegans and The People Who Love Them, written by Zoe Eisenberg and Ayinde Howell, is available wherever books are sold.

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Hey there SexyTofu readers . I have super huge news! My writing partner/bossman/good friend vegan chef Ayinde  Howell and I are extremely excited to officially be able to announce that our book, The Lusty Vegan, A Cookbook and Dating Manifesto for Vegans and The People Who Love Them, will be released in the fall of 2014!

Part cookbook, part lifestyle book, The Lusty Vegan uses humor and great recipes to solve one of the biggest issues in the vegan community: you’re vegan, your partner is not. Or maybe you’re a vegan having a hard time finding another vegan to make a nice little veg-nest with. Locking down a compatible mate seems to be the largest problem within in the vegan community, making finding love–and keeping it–a little harder than it already is. How do we know? From experience, of course.

Despite the fact that Ayinde and I are full-force, compassionate vegans, neither of us has ever dated another vegan! Yep! We know we’re not alone, so we set out to help solve the problem. In the book, we break down why it’s important to make peace at the table, and in the bedroom. Since we really, really want to help our community find peace in their relationships (and facilitate vegan baby making), TLV is not only geared toward vegans dating omnivores, but to omnis who are dating vegans! We’ve got everybody’s back, here.

The book includes 80 drool-worthy recipes, as well as tips, anecdotes, and narrative stories to help bridge the divide at the dinner table.

The book came from all of the musings Ayinde and I have had over at in my Lusty Vegan column, inspired by you lovely readers! Thanks, guys. We started researching for the book over two years ago, and reached out several times to our vegan community while compiling data – how scientific of us!

The book is being published by Vegan Heritage Press and distributed by Andrews McMeel Publishing/Simon & Schuster. The actual release drops in early October, but it’s currently up for pre-sale on Amazon!

We’re so excited to be able to share this book with all of you, and we hope you’re excited too!

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I do believe this was the inspiration behind The Lonely Island’s “Jizz in my Pants”

Time for a Lusty Vegan reroute! This time, I’m talking about virginity!

This morning I Googled “Virginity” and under news, Lolo Jones was the first topic to come up—and the second, third, fourth, fifth and…you get it. In case you don’t know, the smokin’ hot track and field Olympian has made headlines lately because she is a 29 year old virgin saving herself until marriage.

What’s better than a foxy, fierce, talented athlete? One with a sense of humor—Jones has made jokes about how abstinence is harder than her Olympic training. Since touting her sexless status (on Twitter, no less…her followers jumped by 20,000 almost immediately) Jones has been trending. But it does bring up the idea of chastity, and of saving yourself until marriage.

Jones is religious, and also stated in her recent HBO interview that she thinks her virginity is a gift she should give her husband. While the mere idea of abstinence makes my lady parts extremely pissy, I think saving your virginity for marriage is awesome if that’s what you’re into.

For many people, the first time they had sex is extremely memorable—for better, or for worse. It reminds me of my favorite movie ever, Forrest Gump, when good ol’ Tom Hanks delivers the lines “You know it’s funny what a young man recollects? ‘Cause I don’t remember bein’ born. I don’t recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don’t know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I made sweet sweet love…”

Yeah okay, I made that last bit up. Manipulating things until they serve my purpose is a hobby of mine. Continue reading…

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I hate you! And all of the buttons on your pants...

Time for a Lusty Vegan redirect! Check out my post on iEatGrass…here is a little excerpt to get you motivated.

“Screw you!”
“No, screw you!”
“I hate you!”
“I hate you, too!”
(sound of pants hitting floor)

Sound familiar? Sometimes, nothing is more exhilarating than a really intense angry-sex session. You know, the kind where you go from screaming at each other to tearing clothes off faster than you can say “teeth marks.” That hair-pulling, bottom-lip biting type of animalistic intensity is a terrific way to let off steam while at the same time, reconnecting. But is it healthy?

I think it can be, but it depends on the fight. I’ve always loved a good argument, from playful banter to serious heated debates. I also find a passionate man extremely attractive, even if he is passionately screaming at me…it’s a bit of a problem. However, I have learned over time that the type of argument you’re having weighs heavy on if make up sex is a healthy form of closure. If it’s a small problem that got blown out of proportion, sexing it out can be an excellent release, especially if you’ve already spent a bit of time screaming…er…talking about the problem. Did you get offended by something your partner said? Pissed they were late AGAIN for dinner? In that situation, then having make-up sex is a great way to slam the case closed.

Read more… 

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