This post was originally published in my Lusty Vegan column on iEatGrass.

As soon as you start doing adult things like paying your own rent and washing your sheets more than twice annually, everyone expects your relationships to grow along with your credit card debt. At a certain point, having a weekends-only relationship makes people raise their eyebrows, as if checking single on your income taxes is a condition you should take antibiotics to cure.

While being in a relationship is one of my favorite states of being (the others are full, and naked), that doesn’t mean that I am void of emotional insecurities and commitment issues. I like to point fingers at the fact that I am a product of divorce.

Beneath my neatly made bed of monogamy lurks my snarling commitment phobia, jumping out at inopportune moments and making me look like an asshole.

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