What’s better than a movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson and Julianne Moore? A movie with JGL, Scar-Jo and Julianne Moore about porn addiction, duh. Joseph Gordon-Levitt nails it with his directorial debut of Don Jon, which (much like the protagonist) is bold and confident, both stylistically and in subject matter.

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Uhm, what? If you are confused by that title, don’t worry. I am too.

Recently, an article surfaced on  Tree Hugger talking about how pubic lice, aka crabs, are becoming extinct due to “lack of habitation.” The article notes briefly that a study showed 80 percent of US college students are trimming or fully removing all of their pubes, and as a result, crabs are dying out.

While not many of us are boohooing about the lack of crabs crawling around our fellow bar-goers panties or boxer-briefs, it’s still important to note how a small change in human behavior can impact organisms around us. (Cough. Veganism. Sorry, I had to!)

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This article was originally posted in my Lusty Vegan column on www.iEatGrass.com.  Check it out sometime. Or not.

Tuesday was National Orgasm Day. I hope you celebrated accordingly. In lieu of the holiday, Alex from our Lusty Vegan Facebook group posted an article addressing new statistics showing that men fake orgasms too.

The article gave me a slew of mixed feelings and perhaps a bit of high blood pressure. I’m glad men are copping to the fact that they, just like their ladypartners, fake orgasms. I wish, of course, that no one was faking orgasms and that everyone was having real orgasms all the time, but I also wish the entire men’s Water Polo Team woke me up every morning by coming into my bedroom and serving me up a steamy hot…er…latte. Not impossible, just a bit unrealistic. Damn.

The real faux-beef I had with the article was not the statistics exposed, but the tone of the writer, Peter Lloyd. He seems to believe that men have been trained by the media and culture to always put women’s satisfaction first.

“Finally, after years of programmes like Sex and the City claiming that a man’s duty is a woman’s sexual satisfaction (and never vice versa – after all, that would be sexist), men seem willing to admit that girls don’t always get it right either. ”

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What? You have a large intestine? Girl, you nasty.

Back in June, I went down to Tennessee to check out Bonnaroo with a handful of my lady friends. We didn’t get to shower for 6 days, and things got a bit dirty. At the campsites, everyone’s tents were on top of each other, so we overheard a lot of really great conversation snippets, like the couple arguing because the boy kept spilling bong water all over his girlfriend’s shoes.

“YOU SPILLED BONGWATER ON MY SHOES!”

“It smells good!”

“IT SMELLS LIKE BONG!”

One evening I overheard a guy saying his last girlfriend used to fart in front of him, and it “ruined it” for him. “Some girls just ruin the mystery, you know,” he said. You know. The mystery of the fact that we, like most humans, have an asshole. I also felt bad for him because I assumed he had probably overheard some conversation snippets emanating from OUR tent. We had a lovely discussion about our lack of bathing opportunities over the past week which was creating something we called “crotch wine.” I wonder what that ruined for him.

I understand that some people want to keep the mystery alive in order to remain sexually alluring. I also understand that some are shy, and talking about bodily functions in front of someone they hope will later be all up inside them can be embarrassing! Or maybe some just think these things are gross. But if you’re gonna date someone long term, then at SOME point you need to be able to talk about bodily functions and a variety of other things that some couples have issues addressing. Let me go over them.

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I don’t remember who this guy is, and I can’t believe he wore this in public, but he has the right idea!


I want you to do a little experiment. Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a very safe space, where no one will ever know what you’re thinking…and then think about what you want, sexually.

Now imagine asking your partner for those very same things. Did your face squinch up like you’re cleaning cat litter? Did you get all sorts of anxious and self conscious? No? Good for you, A+ in sexual entitlement.

But for most of us, our sexuality is wrapped up with a whole lot of anxiety. Am I too big? Am I too small? Do I come too quickly? Does it take me too long to come? Why can’t I come at all? Am I doing this right? When it comes to sex, feeling abnormal is normal.

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I originally wrote this post for my Lusty Vegan column on i Eat Grass.

Business time!

Sexual Prime! It sounds like some weird sexier version of Law and Order SVU. Huff Post let loose an article this week responding to a new survey that showed women hit their “sexual prime” at 28—which is younger than I had thought. I had always been under a wonky impression that women hit their prime in their late 30s, while men hit their prime in their early 20s, which is why cougaring was a major life goal of mine…Pfft, way to mislead me, Samantha from Sex in the City. You bitch.

It’s important to note that this survey, put out by the sex toy company LoveHoney, was not scientific–but it did poll over 1,200 people.

After reading the results of the survey (which actually said nothing about 28, instead saying 30 is the right number—WTF, Huff Po!) what I really honed in on was the fact that when people stated they are having the BEST sex did not coincide with when they are having the MOST sex.

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Rihanna may be controversial, but you can’t argue the fact that she embraces (and flaunts) her sexuality


By Sarah Mastroni

I have been a self-proclaimed wild child since the 7th grade when I first started looking at boys like that. I found myself open to the weird, wild and wonderful at a relatively young age. I credit my unrelenting urge for thrills to that, and the freedom I was granted by a household which had little rules to keep my eyes shut to the world as a maturing young lady.

But I knew my limits. I knew not to do any hard drugs or elope a day after I turned 18 years-old with the hunky 25 year-old I met at the mall. I guess this understanding came to me- with the help of meeting lots of different people. I went out with my friends, drank beer underage and got into a little trouble, but only enough to make me who I am today.

Here I am!

My name is Sarah Mastroni and I am a blogger over at SarahontheGo.com. Z is one of my dearest friends and I admire her passion for writing, but most notably, I love how bravely she takes on the topic of sex.

Sex is not easy to talk about. So many people get bent out of shape about it. I learned along the way that sex is wonderful. The nature of this topic in general is beautiful, whether you are getting all types of freaky-deaky on your lover or making passionate love, sex is the amazing ability to forget the crap that the world deals to us and enjoy raw ecstasy.

Z may be more used to the topic of sexuality, but I am going to try my hand at this sex-chatter with a brief list of…

“Things People Look Down on You For But Are So Totally Okay to Do.”

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I recently read an interesting take on gender stereotypes from girlonthenet, about the assumption that men want to have sex ALL THE TIME and that any woman can have sex any time she wants, always. This assumption leads many women to feel horrible and abnormal when sexual rejection rears its ugly head—as it does on the regular for all sexes involved.

The blogger addressed another post, in which a man gives advice to his daughter that all the men she meets just want to sleep with her. He also says that you should just break up with someone if you’re having issues, and let me tell you, this outlook is the reason the divorce rate in America is so freakin’ high…excuse me while I hyperventilate. This man almost, ALMOST redeems himself when he says his daughter should eat her veggies and learn to masturbate. He then seems to make the generalization that white girls masturbate more than other ethnicities. Since I am a white girl who masturbates, will someone else fill me in on this?

It’s true that while many men you meet as a woman may want to sleep with you, not all men will. Believing all men want to bone you will make it hard for you to have platonic friends of the opposite sex, and it will make it more painful when you realize, gee, not everyone wants to hogtie you and smother your naked body in cooking grease, or whatever you’re into….

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Communication. It changes everything.

 

Earlier this week I wrote about “Orgasms for Equality,” or the way that society seems to think male pleasure should take precedence over female. I got some terrific emails from readers following the post, and one was from reader Sam who is having some issues communicating her needs to her boyfriend—who seems to center their sexy time around himself.

She notes that she loves her boyfriend, that he is a great guy and that their chemistry is terrific, so my guess is that he is clueless, not cruel. She says that on all other fronts, their relationship is a good one. However, she also mentioned that her guy has actually complained about her sexual prowess, complaining about some things she is or is not doing, while at the same time he isn’t spending time on foreplay, prefers to be submissive when Sam herself is turned on by being dominated, and well, to quote all I can think is that I don’t compare to his previous experiences or the porn stars he fantasizes about…”

Yikes! Okay, so what is really missing from this situation is NOT a specific position or hot new toy—what’s missing is communication. Sam wrote:

I’ve been trying to remedy this by slowly integrating noises, putting his hands on my hot spots, getting dolled up for him, and watching redtube to learn new tricks.”

Sam, your guy seems to have communicated some of his preferences by complaining—which is not the best way to go about it, but does count as communication. Now that you know how much it hurts to have someone complain about your bedroom skills, use it as a guideline for what NOT to do. And try not to be offended—everyone likes something different, and a sexual connection changes from couple to couple. Maybe your last boyfriend loved for you to pay attention to his balls and your new guy shrivels up like a toddler in a tub the second you touch them—it isn’t you, it’s just a difference in taste.

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