I’ve been wanting to tackle this subject for quite some time now; it’s a running joke in the vegan community that vegans “taste better.” Funny as it may be, it’s also founded on truth. The healthier you eat, the better you feel, look, taste, and smell. Now mind you that vegan is not synonymous with healthy, but if you’re eating a plant-based diet rich in whole grains, legumes, and veggies, and limiting processed foods and artificial fillers, then you’re on the right track.

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So here’s a weird confession: Ever since I adopted a dog back in December, my sex life has been dwindling. Since my manslice and I live in a studio space, our pup is within an arm’s reach at all times. We started off sleeping him in a crate, and there’s nothing sexy about doing—well, anything–while a melody of soft whimpers runs continuously in the background. Not exactly mood music. So sex was stalled out temporarily.

We figured as he got older, the pup would mellow out a bit, which did happen. Now that he can snooze through the night, he has graduated to the floor, and he sleeps pretty soundly—until any hint of activity reaches his (adorable) ear-range.

We tried to ignore him for a while, but ever since the awkward time he started gently tonguing my foot while I held down bottom, well, sex has been infrequent. Or silent. Or hurried. It feels like high school. We’re stealing away to fellate in the bathroom or having hushed, rushed, bottom lip biting sessions because our parents are sleeping down the hall. Except it’s not our parents, it’s our dog.

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There really is no winning recipe for “good” sex. Everyone likes it a little bit different, and when we put two—or more!– people together in a sexual situation, well they’re going to have to work together to figure out what does it. Hm, what’s that, oh you’re not into forniphilia? But I do such a great impression of a dresser…

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A lagging sex life is the number one signal that something is awry in a relationship, followed by the urge to punch a hole in the wall if you have to watch your partner chew with their mouth open for one.more.second. Okay, the second issue just means you’re spending too much time together. But the first—the mysterious vanishing of your sex life—is a real red flag.

When you cease to want to fuggle your partner, it’s often a symptom of a larger issue that needs to be addressed. You know how it feels: You still think they’re attractive, but you’re not really all that attracted to them anymore…

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Summer is over, and fall is here. The change of season can make you a little wonky; You’re just getting into that summertime routine and then BAM, days are short again and you need a jacket. When your schedule is out of whack, you may not be making the healthiest of choices, and your sex drive may suffer for it. Below are a handful of health-don’t's guaranteed to stall that “it’s chilly so let’s build a fire…a pants fire” feeling.

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My manfriend and I watch too many movies. I guess it’s easy to make excuses about why—aside from just liking film, he works in the industry and I’m currently in stew-mode for my second screenplay. Whatever the reason, we spend 90 percent of our “date nights” on Netflix Instant.

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Your partner gets into bed. They start kissing your neck. They start copping a feel. They’re headed toward third. And you’re wondering if you should have called your sister today because she sounded really stressed the last time you talked and….shit, they came.

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Your first year of college is an amazing time of life. It’s a period of growth. It’s also a hard time, and a messy time. You’re trying to find your footing somewhere new, you’re trying to make new friends, find a good fit for yourself – you’re redefining many of the things that make you, “you.” It’s going to be awkward, sloppy, hilarious, exciting, and nerve wracking. And, thanks to new freedom, an abundant number of the single and willing partners, and the comfort of dorm rooms, it may be the first time in your life you have the freedom to explore your sexuality. No more awkward car handies for you!

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Remember when I wrote about cohabitation being the anti sex? Since I am newly cohabitated, I took a moment to re-read my own advice. One thing I didn’t mention in my previous post is what happens when both of you are still into sex, but your sexual rhythms aren’t aligning.

I’m not talking about thrust speed here, I’ll let you hash that out on your own. I’m talking about when one of you is a morning boner, and the other is a night…uh…noodler?

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securedownloadCommunication is important in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Sometimes—most times—the stuff we really need to talk about are the hardest topics to approach. This is especially true for intimate issues, where egos, feelings, and future sex sessions are on the line.

Maybe your guy is a too rough with your goods or drums on your ladybits like he’s tapping out morse code. Or maybe your girl isn’t as active as you want her to be, and just lays there underneath you like she’d rather be watching Game of Thrones.  You really want to bring it up, but aren’t sure how.

Sure, it would be great if everyone was awesome at being direct AND gentle. (This is not the time to be bossy, my fellow Type A’s. No one bosses their way to better blow jobs. No one I know, at least…)

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