Fall is well underway, with winter already whispering frosty sweet nothings late at night. In case you didn’t know, fall and winter are the official cuffing season, so many single-folk are looking for someone to cozy-up with through the holidays.

If you’re a single vegan, then you already know that finding another single vegan who you are mutually attracted to can be seriously tough. While not all vegans are adamant about dating another veg-head, some wouldn’t even consider going to dinner—let alone bed—with someone who eats meat. If that sounds like you, then here are 4 tips for finding another vegan, excerpted from The Lusty Vegan, co-written by myself and Chef Ayinde Howell and available now wherever books are sold.

4 Tips For Finding Another Vegan to Date

So, you’re looking to meet a vegan, eh? One who is not going to alienate your family members at Thanksgiving with tales from the slaughterhouse. One who is a total kitchen wizard and knows that vegan cooking has evolved way past steaming raw veggies or molding nuts into a loaf. Seriously, you want a compassionate foodie that can flambé and sauté like a boss. Okay, maybe you will just settle for a big heart and winning smile and moderate microwaving skills.

If you’re a man looking for a vegan lady, you’ve got an easier road ahead of you, as there are more vegan girls out there. But even single vegan dudesters have been writing in to iEatGrass, inquiring how to meet a vegan lady—even ones in booming veg-friendly metropolises like Los Angeles!

So maybe you’re all prepped. You have a bedside table stocked with Sir Richard’s or Sustain condoms and cruelty free toys, yet you can’t find a plant-based playmate to share a magical evening with. What’s a lusty vegan to do? Here are a few tips on finding a vegan bed buddy, be it for a night of excitement, or a lifetime of spooning and vegan baby-making.


1. Stalk your local hot spots. 
If you’re still in the bar-hopping time of your life, then the obvious choice for meeting a mate is at a bar. But considering that bars are not the normal vegan hang-out, and you probably aren’t looking for an average man or woman (because vegans are sooo above average, helloo!) a bar probably is not your best shot. Unless of course, it’s a vegan bar! Those do exist in Brooklyn, and probably Austin, and maybe Portland. Anyway, what you need to do is head to a vegan-friendly hang out. This can differ depending on your location. A yoga studio with a raw juice bar probably attracts a heavy cruciferous crowd. A vegan-friendly coffee shop is also a good bet. Set up your computer or bring a good book and eye-stalk everyone that walks in the door. See something you like? Strike up a convo. Another tip? When you head to that vegan spot, wear that lucky “I Heart Kale” shirt, or even better, an “I Eat Grass” tee. That way, you’re easy to spot, and obviously very hip.

2. Spread the word. 
If you are really set on finding a vegan partner, tell everyone you know. I mean, everyone. You never know who has a cute single vegan co-worker or gym buddy. This is how my mother met her life partner. She started telling everyone she was on the lookout, and one of her friends happened to know a single, crunchy, outdoorsy dude from yoga. Ten years and two farms later, the pair is still adorably inseparable. If no one knows you’re looking, they can’t set you up. However, be specific in what you’re looking for. If you’re just looking for a one-night stand or short fling, it may be best not to date friends of friends, as things can quickly become more awkward than the time my birth-coach aunt cornered my boyfriend at a family party and started telling him what an amazing organ the vagina is.

3. Get involved.
 I know I am telling you to look look look for a vegan mate, but often you find someone when you’re not looking. Get involved with things in your community you’re passionate about, and you are more likely to find someone with similar interests. When you have the same routine (yoga, work, drinks in the same social circle) week after week, it’s hard to meet fresh faces. So, volunteer at a shelter, local community garden, or vegan organization. Even if you don’t meet someone datable there, you may make new friends (who could possibly set you up!) or at least get involved in a passion project and give back. Good karma points for you!

4. Get online.
 Online dating isn’t for everyone, but there are a good amount of online sources for vegans these days. There are also vegan speed dating events. Or, you don’t have to join a network specifically for singles; any vegan meet-up will do.

Looking for more?  The Lusty Vegan, A Dating Manifesto for Vegans and The People Who Love Them, written by Zoe Eisenberg and Ayinde Howell, is available wherever books are sold.

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Hey there SexyTofu readers . I have super huge news! My writing partner/bossman/good friend vegan chef Ayinde  Howell and I are extremely excited to officially be able to announce that our book, The Lusty Vegan, A Cookbook and Dating Manifesto for Vegans and The People Who Love Them, will be released in the fall of 2014!

Part cookbook, part lifestyle book, The Lusty Vegan uses humor and great recipes to solve one of the biggest issues in the vegan community: you’re vegan, your partner is not. Or maybe you’re a vegan having a hard time finding another vegan to make a nice little veg-nest with. Locking down a compatible mate seems to be the largest problem within in the vegan community, making finding love–and keeping it–a little harder than it already is. How do we know? From experience, of course.

Despite the fact that Ayinde and I are full-force, compassionate vegans, neither of us has ever dated another vegan! Yep! We know we’re not alone, so we set out to help solve the problem. In the book, we break down why it’s important to make peace at the table, and in the bedroom. Since we really, really want to help our community find peace in their relationships (and facilitate vegan baby making), TLV is not only geared toward vegans dating omnivores, but to omnis who are dating vegans! We’ve got everybody’s back, here.

The book includes 80 drool-worthy recipes, as well as tips, anecdotes, and narrative stories to help bridge the divide at the dinner table.

The book came from all of the musings Ayinde and I have had over at iEatGrass.com in my Lusty Vegan column, inspired by you lovely readers! Thanks, guys. We started researching for the book over two years ago, and reached out several times to our vegan community while compiling data – how scientific of us!

The book is being published by Vegan Heritage Press and distributed by Andrews McMeel Publishing/Simon & Schuster. The actual release drops in early October, but it’s currently up for pre-sale on Amazon!

We’re so excited to be able to share this book with all of you, and we hope you’re excited too!

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I’ll never forget the first time I went away with my (now) boyfriend. We had only been dating for about 6 weeks, and we went on a long weekend trip to Cape Cod. He came from Manhattan to Connecticut right after work, where I was to scoop him up in my car to begin our journey. When I pulled up to the train station, I realized he had arrived with only the clothes on his back. I repeat: Four day trip, with only the clothes on his back.

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So here’s a weird confession: Ever since I adopted a dog back in December, my sex life has been dwindling. Since my manslice and I live in a studio space, our pup is within an arm’s reach at all times. We started off sleeping him in a crate, and there’s nothing sexy about doing—well, anything–while a melody of soft whimpers runs continuously in the background. Not exactly mood music. So sex was stalled out temporarily.

We figured as he got older, the pup would mellow out a bit, which did happen. Now that he can snooze through the night, he has graduated to the floor, and he sleeps pretty soundly—until any hint of activity reaches his (adorable) ear-range.

We tried to ignore him for a while, but ever since the awkward time he started gently tonguing my foot while I held down bottom, well, sex has been infrequent. Or silent. Or hurried. It feels like high school. We’re stealing away to fellate in the bathroom or having hushed, rushed, bottom lip biting sessions because our parents are sleeping down the hall. Except it’s not our parents, it’s our dog.

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“I love you, but your friends suck.” Ouch. A discrepancy in social circles can really hinder a healthy relationship and act as a point of contention between the two of you, and your friends. Everyone has that buddy that is, well, hard to get a long with. Then there is the unfortunate truth that if you don’t like your partner’s friends, they probably don’t like you either. Fake smiles are easy to spot.

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Valentine’s day is the cilantro of the American holiday circuit …you either love it, or it leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. Personally, I have a tumultuous relationship with the holiday, which started during an excruciating 4 month stint working at Hallmark in high school, where I was forced to stock mass produced, impersonal greeting cards and listen to Michael Bublé’s Caught in the Act album on repeat. I still cringe whenever I hear a Bublé track.

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Ah, depression, you miserable bitch. Anyone who has ever suffered from this condition knows it can be dark, cold, and hopeless. Whether you’re depressed due to life circumstances, or a chemical imbalance, or (most usually) both, depression is never fun, and it’s hard to shake. But what happens when it’s not you who is down, but your partner?

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You’re laying in bed and your phone goes off – you have a text, and as you see that name pop up on the screen, your stomach does a little belly flop and your heart starts beating like you just popped an adderall. You send a response, smiling. Then you glance nervously at your partner, sleeping next to you in the bed. Ouch.

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