You’re laying in bed and your phone goes off – you have a text, and as you see that name pop up on the screen, your stomach does a little belly flop and your heart starts beating like you just popped an adderall. You send a response, smiling. Then you glance nervously at your partner, sleeping next to you in the bed. Ouch.

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Hold still, this will hurt.

I’ve written before on infidelity; It’s a big “no no” in my book—which, in case you were wondering, probably closer resembles a dog-eared trashy paperback than a manual on ethics. But I’m going to get into ethics now. Bear with me.

Most of us already know that when it comes to emotions, not everything is in black and white. We all have feelings, and these feelings can make a bigger mess than a two year old with a white wall and a box of crayons.

However, if we want to get ethical, are there shades of grey when it comes to right and wrong? Are moral standards based on the eye of the beholder? Does right and wrong change situationally? Is a hero still a hero if he only saved that little boy from the well because he knew he would be showered in praise?

Oh man, that was some rapid fire questioning. Back on track. I think that cheating is always the wrong thing to do. If you’re unhappy or unfulfilled in your relationship, get out of it. Don’t cheat. But no one can be right all the time, and so let’s consider what happens after you have cheated. Most would consider that the “right” thing to do would be to tell your partner. Come clean. You’ve already been unfaithful, let’s not double the offense with dishonesty. Right?

I think it depends on both the situation and motive behind your confession.

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