I know I constantly jabber on about the hilarious things people Google to get to SexyTofu.com. However, non can top the dumb-ass search that showed up today…drum-roll please:
How to flash boobs at truckers driving by my house.
I am going to answer this because clearly if this person cannot figure this out for themselves, there is no hope for them. They NEED me. So, to little miss Mystery Novice Truck-Flasher:
Step 1) Get out in front of your house, which ( I am assuming) is in a place where lots of truckers pass, so by house you must mean trailer on the side of a major freeway. (Be sure to be braless, which makes for easier range of flashing. Unless you are super ninja stealth with the bra removal like that guy I dated in the 10th grade who actually practiced with his sister’s bra and a pillow.)
Step 2) Wait for truck to rumble past your house (trailer).
Step 3) Expose yourself.
Step 4) Get a real job. Seriously. Who ARE you? Last weekend I wound up at a bar down south that, until recently, had been named Cattle Annie’s. I must have seen you there, grinding on that dude with a mullet drinking a King Cobra.
I have mentioned previously that one of the best features on the backend of SexyTofu.com is the ability to see what people plugged into Google to stumble across us (and by us, I mean me!). To sample just a few, today I got “women flashing truck drivers,” “vegan nightmares,” “sex pesto” (mmm..?), “fat girl eating chocolate banana” and “crazy sexy dumper.” Funnies aside, I did get one person who was searching for “how to be vegan without tofu.”
This struck a real chord with me. I was a vegetarian for a very long time before I ever developed a taste for tofu, or any soy product really. I was also very young, and perhaps not very smart about how to successfully maintain a plant-based diet. Now that I am vegan (and a full supporter of the soy council!), I was interested in this mystery fan’s (okay fan is a bit much..) query of not only how to be vegan without tofu, but how to be vegan without soy at all.
With a family history of breast cancer, I used to think I should avoid eating soy on a daily basis, and therefore limited consumption of direct soy products (tofu, soy milk, edamame, etc.). However, my doctor recently told me that the avoidance of soy in relation to breast cancer—as it contains high levels of estrogen—is unnecessary. We produce far more estrogen in our bodies than we could possibly get from soy products (says doc!).
*names have been changed to avoid angry emails from friends and family members
In 2010, a buzz was made when a study was released stating that the type of smart phone people choose to buy could give insight into their sex lives. A girlfriend of mine admitted to cringing when a guy she agreed to go out with picked her up in a flashy red coupe.Can material possessions such as electronics and cars give insight into not only your personality, but your sexual habits?
The smartphone study was put on by the dating website OkCupid, in which nearly 10,000 people filled out a survey with a variety of information, including their number of sexual partners and the type of phone they have. The iPhone topped the chart, with Blackberry squashed in the middle the Android bringing up the rear. According to the study, iPhone users had between four and six more sexual partners by the age of 30 than their droided-out neighbors.
The idea that those who prefer bling get around can translate into car-talk as well. While seeing a fire-engine red car in your driveway doesn’t mean your date is a womanizer or man-eater, it could give insight into their values. Often, those who opt for flashy cars (or handbags and shoes) over practical ones tend to be more materialistic and even egocentric or insecure. Continue reading