I was going to wait until Friday to do a Fetish Friday on this, but I just couldn’t contain my excitement. This is probably my favorite fetish, if not only for the amazing name. Spankophilia! If a Greek married an Italian and they made a pastry, this is what it would be called. But if you haven’t guessed, spankophilia is spanking for the erotic gratification of either or both parties involved. Spanking can be done with hands, paddles, canes or other fun party toys. It can be combined with bondage and is often a big part of dominant/submissive culture.

I like the whole “punishment” thing behind spanking. When you pay your taxes, floss your teeth and recycle, you rarely ever get to be a “bad, bad girl.” This kind of role playing allows you to feel naughty without getting too involved. You don’t have to make up a big sexy plot or put on a costume…although you can! Plus, if you’re a fan of mild pain-for-pleasure, it feels good. So spanking is a go in my book. Analyze me all you want, Freud.

Read More →

Fetish Friday is back! I know you were angsting. Yesterday my girl Sarah from SarahOnTheGo wrote about some interesting fetishes, and I realized how much I missed ranting about the mysterious world of the fetish.

So today, I am focusing on algolagnia—the pain fetish. Someone with a pain fetish gets off on suffering from pain, often but not always directed at the genitals. This is different from your run of the mill masochism, because algolagniacs aren’t merely getting off on the idea of dominating or being dominated but on the actual FEELING of pain—the nerve impulses. Algolagnia is an uncontrollable physical phenomenon where the brain reads feelings of pain as feelings of pleasure. Algolagnia is physical, where masochism is psychological. Plus, masochism doesn’t always include pain at all—humiliation and domination/submission are masochisms primal ingredients.

But what causes algolagnia? Is it a physical reaction rooted in the psyche? Is it really mental? A learned Pavlovian response? Some scientists think no. Recent studies have shown that algolagniacs may actually have errors in their DNA. Modern researchers using MRI and computer models of neuron firing patterns show that most algolagniacs experience pain differently from others.

It is rumored that those who enjoy sexual pain are also hypersexual, and algolagnia was once considered a psychological disorder. BUT so was homosexuality, and we see how times have changed!

SO, do you have a pain fetish? Remember when I interviewed that trampler? Do you have any fetish? I would love to talk to you about it…get at me.

Read More →


So I am excited for my first Fetish Friday post! I hope to be able to rustle up a fetishist to interview each week—so far, everyone I have reached out to has been eager to spill their freak beans, as long as everything is kept anonymous of course!

The following is an interview I had with a self-labeled “Submissive,” who I am going to call Barry. Barry is in his late 40s, is divorced, has three kids and works in finance. After talking with him I can’t help but wish I could interview his secretary…just kidding, that is so a (really hot) situational stereotype!

Z: So what does it mean to you to be a Submissive? Pretend I have no idea what you’re talking about and explain it to me in layman’s terms.
B: Basically it means in order to get off, I need to be dominated. This means finding a dominant partner, who in the kinkster scene is called a Dom. The Dom takes complete control.

Z: The kinkster scene! I love it. Sounds like a band. So you’re the slave, then.
B. Yep, pretty much.

Z: When did you discover your fetish?
B: I mean I guess I always preferred to have a woman take charge, but I was always nervous to take it to its full extent until I was married and completely comfortable.

Z: Its full extent?
B:  Basically a Submissive is supposed to present themselves to their Dom as a gift. The Dom has complete control, then. I won’t get into all of the details since I don’t want to blow my cover! But if you know anything about BDSM, you can imagine.
 
Z: Have your partners always been supportive?
B: Well I am divorced. Joking! Yes usually they don’t mind, although those who don’t get high specifically from dominating have gotten bored with it, or expressed a wish to switch the balance of power.

Z: And would you?
B: Yes, but it doesn’t really do it for me. Since I have gotten older and really narrowed down what it is I need, I specifically look for Dom partners. It just makes for a better bond, sexually.

Z: Any idea of why this is your particular fetish? Sometimes people like to psychoanalyze themselves.
B: I mean it started pretty young, but the only thing that I can think of is that in my career, I am in control of and responsible for almost everything that goes on. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else take the reigns.

Z: How extreme would you consider yourself? I know submissives can range from a more mellow bottom-only type to the full blown gimp.
B: I would put myself somewhere in the middle. I definitely don’t have any headgear with zippers or leather body suits, but I really can’t be  satisfied unless I feel completely controlled.

Z: So you would never don a facemask?
B: Never say never! If I was dating an extreme Dom, and they suggested it, I would try it. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

Z: So, do you have a code word if things get out of hand?
B: Of course. But I’ll never give it away.

Have a fetish? Wanna be interviewed for a Fetish Friday? Wanna guess Barry’s code word? I tried… Please email me at Sexytofublog (at ) Yahoo.com. But don’t email me asking for Barry’s info…this is not a social network for fetishists! (If that’s what you’re looking for, try www.FetLife.com.)

Read More →