I was going to wait until Friday to do a Fetish Friday on this, but I just couldn’t contain my excitement. This is probably my favorite fetish, if not only for the amazing name. Spankophilia! If a Greek married an Italian and they made a pastry, this is what it would be called. But if you haven’t guessed, spankophilia is spanking for the erotic gratification of either or both parties involved. Spanking can be done with hands, paddles, canes or other fun party toys. It can be combined with bondage and is often a big part of dominant/submissive culture.

I like the whole “punishment” thing behind spanking. When you pay your taxes, floss your teeth and recycle, you rarely ever get to be a “bad, bad girl.” This kind of role playing allows you to feel naughty without getting too involved. You don’t have to make up a big sexy plot or put on a costume…although you can! Plus, if you’re a fan of mild pain-for-pleasure, it feels good. So spanking is a go in my book. Analyze me all you want, Freud.

Read More →

Follow me on Instagram (@zoahu) for more emo photos of canoodling cutlery and half-eaten desserts. Chocolate cake a la Bloodroot!

So many would think that because I am pro women’s rights, pro sexual liberation, and a crunchy animal loving tofu eating vegan, I’m automatically a feminist, right? Some women have issues with labeling themselves feminists, because unfortunately so many people assume feminists are cantankerous man hating activists who don’t shave their armpits.

While I’m certainly not an activist, I support feminists and feminist activists. I do have some feminist tendencies, too… If I were to take a political quiz I’m sure I would score a big fat F (for feminist, duh). And when I was 14 I dumped a boyfriend after he told me women “aren’t funny.” But I make you laugh every day! I counter argued, before spewing a litany of women who are hilarious. He stroked my cheek like I was a little puppy. “Of course you make me laugh, you’re adorable!” I’m pretty sure I pulled a Yosemite Sam, with steam pouring out from each ear as I made a high-pitched kettle cry. I’ll show YOU what’s funny, mister.

Read More →

These boots are made for tramplin...

Today is National Fetish Day! The third Friday of the year! In celebration, I am sharing an interview with a trampler. That is, a lovely lady who is married to a man with a trampling fetish. While the interviewee is not exactly a fetishist herself, she is the boot-wearer! Ahhh, the things we do for love! Kidding–sounds like she doesn’t exactly mind her hub’s shoe and trample fetish. Read on as I talk to Yvonne, a vegan with an extensive boot collection she has dubbed “bedroom boots.” Of course, her boots are vegan, too!

ST:Okay so you say your hubby has a shoe and trampling fetish? So he likes when you both wear hot shoes, and when you walk on him?
Yvonne: Yup! He’s pretty specific actually—he likes it best if he’s stark naked and I’m all dolled up with the cherry on top being a pair of boots. I mean like serious boots.  I have maybe 1 pair that I could wear out on the street if I really wanted, but all the rest are pretty much like stripper boots with giant platforms, or pleather with spike heels that go thigh-high.  These are dedicated bedroom boots that we have specifically for that. He picked most of em out, and I gave the final yea or nay vote.  I should also clarify that he’s below me masturbating pretty much the whole time.

Hot. Bedroom boots! Love that term. So how did he first introduce his fetish to you?
Gosh, it’s been so long now I can’t really remember…. I know that when we first started dating years ago he complimented a pair of 40′s-style wedges I had on, and I had a side thought that maybe he didn’t play for my team, ha!. Then over the course of our relationship I got to know what he prefers—he hates flats, likes heels over wedges, and boots more than anything.  Obviously I’ll wear whatever the hell I want, but it’s nice to know what turns him on when we go on a date so I can make a little effort when I pick an outfit.  I honestly can’t remember when he asked me to step on him while wearing boots, but I think we might have had a very frank conversation about what turns us on in the bedroom and he came right out and said it.

Were you open to it?
Totally!  Nothing unsanitary is involved and it’s consensual, so I was down.  Er…. up.

Now you say this is mostly his fetish; do you like it at all, or is it just getting him off that gets you off?
I do like being able to demand that he do anything I want and be a real bitch- sometimes it actually helps me vent my frustrations. At times it does get a bit repetitive, almost like a couple doing the same missionary-style thing over and over.  But we’ve found ways to change it up or do things different, and it also depends on what kind of mood I’m in.  His big thing is that he doesn’t want to do it unless I’m into it too, which is great.  I have to say my favorite part is when he climaxes, and I LOVE watching him from up above. So it’s basically 100 percent his thing, but I do get a little something out of it. As far as it turning me on, it doesn’t really.

What is his favorite kind of shoe for you to put on?
Boots!  Done.  Next question!

Hah alright then. On what part of his body to you walk?
Mostly I just stand over him and use one of my legs to poke and prod, but occasionally I’ll take a few steps on him, usually on his upper thighs, stomach, or chest.  I’ll also kick him, and he likes it when I demand he do things like massage my legs or kiss the bottom of the boot.

Do you walk on him with the shoes on only, or are you ever barefoot?
I don’t think I’ve ever done it barefoot, haha.

Have you ever left stiletto punctures on him?
Yea, I’ve left little bruises and marks before.  I saw them the next day and honestly got a little worried, but he said he was fine and that he liked it because it reminded him of how it got there and consequently turned him on.

Trampling can be a bit sadomasochistic, especially if you get into stomping. How far do you take it?
We really don’t take it too far, although I do have some whips and things from the early days, but I haven’t used those in a while and it doesn’t turn him on that much.  We’re like “BDSM-lite.”

BDSM-lite, that’s great. Fluffy! Anything else I should know about the fetish?
We’ve done a whole variety of things in the past like acted out scenes, or sometimes I’ll dance, which can be dangerous depending on what pair I have on.  I’ve rolled my ankle more than a few times, but no serious injuries! His newest thing is he likes to watch me get ready and put on makeup.

Wanna talk about your fetish? Leave it in the comments! Want to be interviewed for Fetish Friday? Email me at Sexytofublog (at) yahoo! Do it.

Read More →

Happy friday, sexyfood faces! Today you’re in for a bit of potty-talk, because this FF post is about watersports, and I’m not talking polo. In case you don’t smell what I’m steppin’ in, let me refer you to the Urban Dictionary definition.

 Watersports

In BDSM terminology, refers to sensual or erotic play involving bodily fluids, typically urine, saliva, and less commonly, blood. Considered ‘edge-play’, because it is obviously somewhat unhygienic.

Ex: Most of the Mistresses that he found online were willing to do watersports.

No judgments here—whatever gets your pot saucy is just fine by me. The fetishist I interviewed is a 21 year old veg-headed female fluent in two languages with a passion for video games and art. (I always feel like I am auctioning off dates when I do that…) I’m gonna call her P. Teheheheh.

ST: So, tell me how you got into your fetish.
P: About 2 or 3 years ago, my then-boyfriend brought it up. It was something he saw in porn and thought might be fun to try out. I was reluctant at first, but I felt great that he opened up to me about it, meaning he trusted me. So I decided to give it a try. Turned out I liked it even more than he did!

What exactly about it turns you on?
There’s a lot of really hot aspects of watersports. One of it is, of course, just the feeling of urine. It’s really warm and actually feels good on skin. It’s also fun as part of domination-submission play.

Do you like to be the giver or the receiver?
I like both. As I said, I like it integrated in domination-submission play, so whoever is the top in the session is the giver.

How do you bring up your fetish to a new sexual partner?
It’s good to be open and all my partners know that they can talk freely about their fetishes to me, and that I can talk to them about mine. Usually, towards beginning of the sexual relationship, after a few vanilla encounters of course, I decide it’s time to talk about turn ons and then, I bring it up together with other fetishes.

Have your partners been pretty open to it? Have you ever had a negative experience with it?
Most have been. I never pressure anyone into doing something they don’t want, and I give them time to decide when to do it, if they want to. Did every partner agree to it? Of course not. But even if he doesn’t share the fantasies, it’s still likely he’s willing to try. As for negative experiences, yes, there have been some, mostly from lack of communication. For example, one guy once thought I was into drinking urine, but I’m not. So, unwillingly, I’ve had my taste of it.

I’m guessing you usually play in the shower or tub for easy clean-up?
Yes, showers, tubs, or even outside. Although one of my partners, who shared the fetish, invested into one of those waterproof sheet covers, so you can take the watersports into the bedroom. But either way, some cleaning afterwards is inevitable.

Share P’s passion for waterpsorts? Wanna talk about your own fetish? Let me know!

Read More →


So I am excited for my first Fetish Friday post! I hope to be able to rustle up a fetishist to interview each week—so far, everyone I have reached out to has been eager to spill their freak beans, as long as everything is kept anonymous of course!

The following is an interview I had with a self-labeled “Submissive,” who I am going to call Barry. Barry is in his late 40s, is divorced, has three kids and works in finance. After talking with him I can’t help but wish I could interview his secretary…just kidding, that is so a (really hot) situational stereotype!

Z: So what does it mean to you to be a Submissive? Pretend I have no idea what you’re talking about and explain it to me in layman’s terms.
B: Basically it means in order to get off, I need to be dominated. This means finding a dominant partner, who in the kinkster scene is called a Dom. The Dom takes complete control.

Z: The kinkster scene! I love it. Sounds like a band. So you’re the slave, then.
B. Yep, pretty much.

Z: When did you discover your fetish?
B: I mean I guess I always preferred to have a woman take charge, but I was always nervous to take it to its full extent until I was married and completely comfortable.

Z: Its full extent?
B:  Basically a Submissive is supposed to present themselves to their Dom as a gift. The Dom has complete control, then. I won’t get into all of the details since I don’t want to blow my cover! But if you know anything about BDSM, you can imagine.
 
Z: Have your partners always been supportive?
B: Well I am divorced. Joking! Yes usually they don’t mind, although those who don’t get high specifically from dominating have gotten bored with it, or expressed a wish to switch the balance of power.

Z: And would you?
B: Yes, but it doesn’t really do it for me. Since I have gotten older and really narrowed down what it is I need, I specifically look for Dom partners. It just makes for a better bond, sexually.

Z: Any idea of why this is your particular fetish? Sometimes people like to psychoanalyze themselves.
B: I mean it started pretty young, but the only thing that I can think of is that in my career, I am in control of and responsible for almost everything that goes on. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else take the reigns.

Z: How extreme would you consider yourself? I know submissives can range from a more mellow bottom-only type to the full blown gimp.
B: I would put myself somewhere in the middle. I definitely don’t have any headgear with zippers or leather body suits, but I really can’t be  satisfied unless I feel completely controlled.

Z: So you would never don a facemask?
B: Never say never! If I was dating an extreme Dom, and they suggested it, I would try it. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

Z: So, do you have a code word if things get out of hand?
B: Of course. But I’ll never give it away.

Have a fetish? Wanna be interviewed for a Fetish Friday? Wanna guess Barry’s code word? I tried… Please email me at Sexytofublog (at ) Yahoo.com. But don’t email me asking for Barry’s info…this is not a social network for fetishists! (If that’s what you’re looking for, try www.FetLife.com.)

Read More →

(or get turned into a lamp shade)

I promise you can click on any of these links and it won’t take you to any xxx sites.  Although that would be a fun joke–perhaps I am lying to you! Can you really trust me when  my most trusted resources are Urban Dictionary and Wikipedia?

Recently I was talking to a friend who was seriously bashing the guy she was seeing who had a fetish that was a bit, erm, out of the ordinary.  I got a little prickly with my friend for hating on him. Don’t get me wrong; there are some really weird fetishes out there. Aside from your typical BDSM variety—choking, bondage, spanking—there is your creepy crawleys, your act-like- an-animal and other role playing, dude-looks-like a ladying. Then there is just the unexplainable—pedal pumping, looning, trampling. There are fetishes for those who watch too many zombie flicks (vorarephelia), and even a fetish for making someone else cry (dacryphilia). And then there is stitophelia—attraction to food. I think I may have once been attracted to a cupcake. I can’t be sure because I ate it before things got too heavy. Basically if you can think of it, there is porn for it. I dare you to prove me wrong.

The fetish my friend was bashing on wasn’t even that off color. They weren’t talking about turning people into furniture or lubing up each other’s feet. I told my friend she should be appreciative that her guy even feels close enough to her to show her what he likes, instead of spending hours on the internet, or finding someone freakier behind her back. Repressed fetishes—if they are extreme enough—can do some mental damage. They can mess with your self image (“I’m such a freak for liking this”), or worse. I would rather have a guy admit he imagines eating people than actually go out and hack up someone and simmer their organs in white wine. As long as he wasn’t really trying to masticate me, we could play kitchen. Whatever. A repressed fetish can be a dangerous thing, regardless of if the repression is turned in or out.

I’m not saying you should go along with someone else’s fetish just to avoid alienating them. Don’t do anything you are not comfortable with, but try and at least see where they are coming from, or at the very least refrain from wrinkling your nose, gasping in shock, or running out of the room screaming. How would you feel if you expressed something that turned you on, especially if you knew it was a bit bizarre, and you were met with disgust? I told my friend that if she really is turned off by her man’s fetish—she was pretty horrified—and they can’t find any common ground, then they should probably find other people to play with. Bedroom miscommunication is frustrating, to say the least.

With this in mind, I am going to be introducing Fetish Friday, where I will talk about a different fetish each week. I would like to find and interview people with different fetishes, while at the same time avoid getting turned into a lampshade. So if you have a fetish you want to talk about, anonymously of course, please get at me here.

Also, watch a live performance of my favorite Blind Melon song, which just so happens to be about turning people into furniture! Love those creeps.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sosg_9eXjAg] Read More →

Everyone else is eating cheese (image by graur razvan ionut)

I am a pretty awkward person. I make awkward jokes and references to things nobody else understands, and then I laugh at them alone. On Friday I was at the bank next to my office where I go to deposit my whopping free-lance checks during lunch, and the teller tried to chat me up. I drool over him every time I go in there, partially because he is a fox (he looks some sort of juicy middle-eastern ethnicity), and because he is rocking a wedding ring so that makes him completely off limits. So he starts making small talk. Probably he was just being friendly, but it made me nervous anyways. “So you work around here?” he said. “yes, do you?” I responded. To THE BANK TELLER. He then looked at me like I had something hanging out of my nose. (I probably did.)

Right before that, as I was heading out to do my bank errands/make an ass out of myself in front of saucy teller, my boss reminded me to be back by 2:30 as we are having Flying Saucers for a coworker’s birthday. “Great, I won’t miss that!” I said. “Even though I will just be standing around awkwardly while you all eat your ice-cream and repetitively ask why I am not partaking!” I continued. “Veganism is so socially awkward sometimes,” I finished. Luckily, my boss laughed (she at least pretends I am funny).

Real talk: Unless I am surrounded by other vegans, I usually feel sort of awkward turning down food. I do it anyways, but usually I feel a bit of judgement coming my way. I have found that veganism makes people nervous, as if I am judging them–I am not, I swear! I don’t sit around saying “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO PIGS/WHAT IS IN YOUR MILK/HOW MANY BYCATCH SEA CREATURES DIE SO YOU CAN EAT THAT SPICY TUNA ROLL?” so I hate when I hear “but like, how do you get your protein/no wonder you’re so skinny/What about cheese?!”

So, yeah, office food parties are always awkward for me. I have only been here about 4 months, so I wonder what will happen in April when my birthday rolls around–assuming I last that long and don’t get fired because of the contents of my browser history (Friday on my lunch break I spent 40 minutes reading up on gimps and BDSM for my gimp post…). What? I was on lunch!

Any other vegans ever feel awkward about their vegan status? I want to hear your awkward vegan moments! Or just awkward moments in general…I once tried to get a pen out of my purse in class and accidentally flung a tampon at the boy next to me. It hit him in the face.

Read More →

Budget Gimp


My friend Andy (who I have to mention is also obsessed with snakes and has a bunch in his basement and is that not kinky all on its own? I think it is) gave me the idea for this post, so, thanks Andy, when can I come by and play with your trouser crotch  snakes? Okay back on track: How much kink is too much? Leather boots? Hand cuffs? A bit of pony play? Alright how about full on gimp-status BDSM submissives, lock-me-in-your-box style a la Pulp Fiction?

Wait, wait, step back here. Some people (hi mom!) might be reading and going what is a gimp? No, not someone who is crippled—that would be totally un-PC of me. A gimp is a submissive sex slave, usually male, that gets all hopped up by being bound usually in leather (sooo not vegan) and told what to do. But what makes a gimp a gimp as opposed to some guy who wants to be handcuffed and gagged and bossed about and whatnot? Well, usually it is the signature full leather body suit and head mask. This leather (or rubber) body suit usually covers the hands and feet and looks like it would be great for scuba diving, also.

Gaga gimp?

That (in)famous scene in one of my all time favorite Tarantino films brought the gimpy subculture into the spotlight with the terrifying watch-guard gimp who gets decked by Bruce Willis. On a side note, I love Bruce, and I would do terrible, terrible things to be able to have him punch me in the face, so I am pretty jealous of this particular gimp.

The gimp is basically reduced from a sexual partner to a sex plaything, sometimes even hung from the ceiling. Maybe I used to watch too much Law and Order SVU but hanging someone in a rubber suit from the ceiling sounds like a recipe for trouble, and I have never delved into gimping myself. But would love to hear from any fans out there! Opinions here? Any gimp fans reading? Maybe I should put out a Craigslist ad looking for gimps willing to be interviewed.

Read More →