Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Another post about lube! But Astroglide—hoorah for vegan lube!—recently put out a survey about the most popular bedroom fantasies and published the results! Their top responses were as follows: Getting’ it on somewhere exotic, doing a dude (or lady) in uniform, sex in public, taking control and having more than one person at once. None of those are really all that surprising, so here is a list I have cultivated through very extensive and professional research. (Getting my friends drunk and harassing them with inappropriate questions about their sex lives.)
Audio Arousal-Lots of people use music to set the pace, but what about having one person wear a pair of those huge hipster headphones while their partner picks the tunes. With only one half of the party listening, it feels secretive, making things a a bit more interesting—for the one listening at least. Take turns switching off.
Bon Voyeur! - A bit creepy but still hot. Hide in the closet (or peek around a shower curtain) while your man or woman comes in, undresses, and gets down to business solo. Come in and help out if you want.
Ravishment- Also known as “play rape.” This can be appealing for both the dominating and the dominated. However, for obvious reasons, it can be dangerous, so always have a code word. Blueberry! Also maybe a code hand signal, in case for some reason you can’t speak. Uh…what?
Pants Down in Public—Similar to putting out in public, this one entails being caught givin’ yourself a little TLC in a public place, and then having a stranger or acquaintance walk in on you and offer to give you a helping hand. Very risky because it would be more likely that the stranger would offer to call the cops…
The Home Wrecker – This involves shakin’ the sheets with someone who has children, while the children are in the house. Knowing you need to be extra quiet makes it extra juicy.
The Drive By- This one involves driving side by side with a huge truck and touching yourself while the trucker watches. Cool in theory I guess, but I make 9 hour drives down south (hah, no really!) all the time, and all the truckers I pass are seriously creepy. Once a friend had a trucker pull a video camera on her, and all she was doing was driving! So imagine where she would have popped up on the internet if she was givin’ her passion pit a playful poke…
Lost in Translation—Sexing up someone who doesn’t speak your language. Actually they also specified it was a maid or house keeper who doesn’t speak their language, but I veto that part of the fantasy because I CAN. I think it would be hot to pick up anyone and somehow convey nonverbally that you want to remove their clothing with your teeth. Also then you could say hilarious things to them mid coitus and they wouldn’t understand you. I HAVEN’T BATHED IN 2 DAYS SO I HOPE THAT TASTES NICE. Oh, gross.
What do you think of my friends’ fantasies? Weird? Hot? Sociopathic? Oooh, or be super ballsy and tell me some of your fantasies! I wanna know know know!