This week, the gorgeous-on-the-inside-and-out actress, activist and author Alicia Silverstone started advocating another feel good cause…masturbation! Okay well that’s sort of a stretch, but she is advocating this eco-friendly Leaf Life vibrator.

How can a vibrator be eco-friendly, you ask? This one is made from phalate-free silicone, features rechargeable batteries and is shipped in packaging made from recycled materials.

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Assorted cosmetics and tools

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Growing up following my older brother around, I missed out on a ton of girly opportunities. It didn’t help that my mother, during the time I hit puberty, was on a natural kick and wasn’t shaving her armpits or legs, let alone wearing any makeup.

When those nasty girls at school started teasing me about the fact I didn’t shave my legs yet (I couldn’t have been any older than 11!) I had to sneak a shave with my dad’s face razor—sorry pops!—because my mom would not get me my own razor the necessary shaving accoutrement. Ma also wouldn’t let me wear normal deodorant for a while so I was stanky. Eventually, maybe when she realized I was practically being hazed at school/sneaking a shave behind her back, she got me a nice shaving kit with a note that read “From your hairy but loving mama.” You’re awesome, Ma! Anyways, she has since given up her European look (do French women really not shave or is that some ignorant American belief…when I was in France I didn’t notice any particularly hairy women…).

Where is this rant going? Oh yes, I don’t particularly know how to be a girl. That’s not totally true, I love dresses and frilly underwear. But I have NO idea how to lip balm—sometimes I go a little wild and wear tinted!—and mascara. I also have a bunch of makeup that is probably a good five years old when I went through this I-will-learn-to-wear-makeup phase. It includes foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow and eyeliner—all which should be thrown out because it is way too old.

So I have decided maybe I will try to get back into some sort of beauty routine! And now the issue is, where can I find cruelty free makeup that is still quality? So far I have been collecting MAC and Bare Minerals swag. Also I got Alicia Silverstone’s line, Ecotools, variety of makeup brushes. Actually I don’t think it is her line but they just use her as a spokeswoman? Whatever, they got me…

Here is a nifty list by Leaping Bunny that highlights cruelty free cosmetic companies so I don’t have to think.  

What cruelty free brands do you use? Please tell me I must know!

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I love Alicia Silverstone. I feel like we could actually be friends, like if we met she would be excited to come on over to my house, make chickpea cutlets , knit cruelty-free sweaters and cuddle. Delusions aside, I have always had her back–even when other vegans were ripping her apart for admitting to indulge in a cube of cheese every now and then. However, I must say I am a bit confused at her choice of name for her new bundle of love. Her son’s name, Bear Blu, is a curious choice for a vegan to name their offspring. I understand the naming after an animal–after all, most vegans do adore animals. And while bears are super cool and cute when they’re young, they are also pretty, well, terrifying! Why not name her little boy Zebra or Elephant, or another less aggressive, less carnivoristic mammal. Perhaps Bear Blue is named after Yogi Bear, or maybe a nice cuddly panda? I’m sure the Clueless star has a kick-ass reason for naming her son after a massive, scary but intelligent animal with a knack for getting into garbage cans and mauling the occasional boyscout..I just wish I knew what it was!

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Oprah Winfrey at her 50th birthday party at Ho...

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Inspired by Kathy Freston‘s new book, Veganist; Lose Weight, Get Healthy, Change the World, Oprah Winfrey and her entire Harpo staff (over 300 people!) are going vegan for one week, starting today!

Oprah will have Freston, along with Michael Pollan, on her show today to discuss the book and the benefits of an animal-free diet. In addition, Lisa Ling, well-known investigative journalist and reporter for Oprah’s show, will take an on-camera tour of a meat-processing plant —yuck.

I am extremely excited that a public figure like Oprah is joining the ranks of Bill Clinton, Ellen Degeneres, Alicia Silverstone and other  celebs by supporting veganism, even if only for a week. Who’s next? I vote Obama!

I am  looking forward to the show tonight, as well as getting my hands on Freston’s new book! Now I Just have to go find a friend with cable …

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The grass is greener on Alicia's side...

Vegans all over are in a tizzy about Alicia Silverstone’s confession to US Magazine that she cheats on her vegan diet. While I obviously support the vegan lifestyle and understand it takes a strong commitment to adhere to, I think everyone needs to cut the girl some slack. In the article she expresses that the key to a healthy lifestyle is flexibility and rationality. If she slips up and has a piece of cheese (like she admits to doing) than it will be healthier for her to accept it and move on than obsess over it. No one is perfect – I still drool over the occasional leather handbag – and accepting people for their humanity is important. Plus, at least the girl is comfortable enough with herself to admit she may occasionally fall off the vegan-train, which means you probably won’t find her hiding out in her house scarfing a block of sharp cheddar. She is, and has been, a great supporter of the vegan community. Her book, The Kind Diet, has helped many vegan newbies– myself included – dip their toes into the vegan pond, and her recipes are delish. You go, Alicia.

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image taken from sheknows.com

Perhaps this post will be more of a bitter rant than anything close to educational, but bear with me anyways. (Or not, I’ll never know.) I will start by admitting that I haven’t grown since the 8th grade. I am the same height, weight, and bra size that I was when I was fourteen.  I am not absurdly short, in fact I think 5 foot 4 inches is a pretty average height for a woman, but when you add in the fact that my ribcage is roughly the size of Serena Williams’ thigh, well I do look a bit young for the age of twenty-two. I have always been told I look young for my age, but in the past year I have heard the comment so often, usually from total strangers, that I am beginning to think it’s some sick practical joke.
Here are some rough (and absurd) examples of random people who have mistaken me for a fourteen year old girl.

-Last summer, a stewardess on my flight to Hawaii told me I couldn’t sit in the emergency exit seat because you had to be at least fifteen.
-Similarly, this summer, a security guard on the adult-only pool deck on my Bermuda-bound cruise ship told me I couldn’t be on the deck because I had to be at least fifteen.
-Again on the cruise ship, as we boarded they handed out  celebratory champagne to the adults and OJ to the kiddies. As I reached for my champagne the attendant looked completely horrified, staring at me as if I should be ashamed of myself. I had to show her my ID.
-I was pet sitting for a new family this week and the 15 yr old daughter asked how old I was. When I told her, her eyes bugged and she said “oh wow, I totally thought you were the same age as me.” I died a little bit.
-When I went to get my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago my oral surgeon, in response to the news that I had just graduated, asked me what colleges I was looking at. I explained I had graduated from college, not high school, and she looked at me in total disbelief.
- On my way into a bar a few months ago I heard a drunken forty-year old woman slur to the bouncer “you better ask that twelve-year-old for her ID, I don’t want this place getting shut down on me.” I didn’t know whether to cuss her out or kudos her for the fact that her mancandy was a good fifteen years younger than her. Can’t hate on the cougars, I aspire to get there eventually..
-Every individual I have ever requested serve me alcohol has asked for my ID, taken it, scanned it, held it under fluorescent lighting, glared at me, done math on their fingers, and asked for a second opinion before asking what I want to drink.

I don’t mind being carded, and I am sure it will happen until I am at least thirty-five. But I do mind being mistaken for a fifteen-year-old, as most fifteen-year-olds are in some sort of painfully awkward period of adolescence  that I thought I had outgrown. However, with my vegan diet, I feel like many years of “wait, how old are you?” lay ahead of me. Of course whenever I complain about looking like a twelve-year-old, everyone says “oh but when you’re forty you will be happy to look young.” Well I’m not forty yet dammit, so shut the fuck up already. Too harsh? Sorry.

In an article published in Health magazine Alicia Silverstone said that not only does her vegan diet make her feel younger, it actually makes her look younger than she did before: “It’s weird to be 32 now and feel and look younger… Right after I first made the switch to a plant-based diet, people were literally telling me, ‘What have you done? You’re sparkling.’” She  then goes on to use one of my favorite words by stating, “You can hear your needs and desires more clearly. You’re just more juicy—there’s just this lightness that happens.” Mmmm, juicy.

Thanks for the pep talk Alicia, but I still hate looking young. It makes me want to shave my head and get a bunch of tattoos. But, in concurrence with Alicia,  I can suggest that if you’re looking to slow the process of aging, or at least feel younger, cutting animal products and processed foods out of your diet will help. Also, slather on sunscreen like it’s crack to keep the wrinkles at bay. In the end, despite my endless bitching, I do suppose I would rather be a juicy twenty-two going on twelve-year-old vegan than a twenty-four going on forty-year old mess, ala Amy Winehouse. Now there is a broad who could use a little more kale in her diet..and a little less tequila.

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