My manpiece doesn’t cook. Okay, well he tries sometimes. Before we lived together, his kitchen repertoire consisted of: noodles with crazy salt, noodles with cheese, noodles with cheese and crazy salt, and steak.

As a vegan/omni couple, we have a “no animals in the kitchen” thing going on, so his cooking skill-set is knocked even further back. He’s the master of oat meal.

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There really is no winning recipe for “good” sex. Everyone likes it a little bit different, and when we put two—or more!– people together in a sexual situation, well they’re going to have to work together to figure out what does it. Hm, what’s that, oh you’re not into forniphilia? But I do such a great impression of a dresser…

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Lentils, dahling… har, har, har. I love indian food, and since making the big move to the big island, I don’t eat it often. Actually, I don’t get to eat out much at all. This has been a good thing, actually, because it forces me to learn how to cook the things I once loved to order. Ah, convenience, the ultimate crutch. I hope you enjoy this simple, fast, spicy dahl recipe with your favorite grain and veggie.

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I don’t have any definitive deal-breakers. Wait, wait, I take that back: anything that could warrant extensive jail-time is probably a deal-breaker, and I have found that I don’t do well with Leos. Lots of fighting and yes, steamy sex, but then more fighting…

Anyway, when it comes to personality specifics, I don’t have any “cat people and sports fans need not apply” rules. Despite the photo above, I don’t have any size rules. Preferences, sure. Rules, no. Relationships are situational, and each one involves a unique combination of personalities, and so they should be looked at by a case-by-case basis.

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Not much is better than a well done Mac and Cheese. As a vegan, I have tried tons of Mac and Cheese recipes, and the majority have tasted like a floury roux with a dash of nutritional yeast. Most likely this is because they WERE a floury roux with a dash of nutritional yeast. The best cookbook recipe I have found is Isa Chandra’s Mac Daddy in Veganomicon, but even that leaves a lil sumpin sumpin wanted. (More on that later.)

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Some of us are really awful at apologizing. Instead of making a whoopsie better, we end up backing ourselves into the hole we already dug. Sometimes, it’s an accident. We might really be attempting at a sincere apology, but we don’t understand what an apology really looks like.

Below are a handful of ways you can give a heartfelt apology that will hopefully get you out of trouble without making you look (any more) like a jerk.

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