You guys! I have been seriously neglectful with my posting recently. For that I am sorry. But it’s the holiday season and I have been crazy busy! So in prep for New Year’s Eve, here is a round-up of the most popular SexyTofu posts of 2012. Sometimes my dad (hi dad!) gets uppity that I write more about sex on here than food. “It’s a sex blog, not a food blog!” But you guys kind of like reading about sex—the stats prove it! All of these posts are sexysexy, and I didn’t play favorites with these, I just looked at the stats of what posts had the most hits. SO basically what I am saying is we’re all a bunch of perverts. High five!
Poop! And Other Things Couples Should Be Able to Address
Back in June, I went down to Tennessee to check out Bonnaroo with a handful of my lady friends. We didn’t get to shower for 6 days, and things got a bit dirty. At the campsites, everyone’s tents were on top of each other, so we overheard a lot of really great conversation snippets, like the couple arguing because the boy kept spilling bong water all over his girlfriend’s shoes.
“YOU SPILLED BONGWATER ON MY SHOES!”
“It smells good!”
“IT SMELLS LIKE BONG!”
One evening I overheard a guy saying his last girlfriend used to fart in front of him, and it “ruined it” for him. “Some girls just ruin the mystery, you know,” he said. You know. The mystery of the fact that we, like most humans, have an asshole. I also felt bad for him because I assumed he had probably overheard some conversation snippets emanating from OUR tent. We had a lovely discussion about our lack of bathing opportunities over the past week which was creating something we called “crotch wine.” I wonder what that ruined for him. Read more…
Boobgasms 101 (Intro to Breast Orgasms)
I like to joke that I have three clitoris’. (Clitori?) As a ballerina-boobed babe, I am happy that for what I lack in sweater stuffing, I make up for in sensitivity. I also might name my future daughter Areola, just to be funny. What I am saying is I like nipples, so I was excited to stumble upon this Huff Post article about breast orgasms, which I will call boobgasms. Read more…
Taboo Topics: Backdoor Lovin and Pop Plugs
A while back I wrote about a reader who had written to me with questions regarding butt play, and I had recommended that if she is interested in some anal action for beginners she start small—with a finger. She reported back to me that the finger went over fine, and that she is still hoping to one day get comfortable enough to have an actual phallic member in there. Also apparently her boyfriend is quite large, which makes first-time sex of any kind even more painful. So we got on the subject of anal plugs. Anal plugs are the cilantro of the bedroom. You either love it, or hate it. You either want it all over your enchiladas, or you think it tastes like soap and gag every time you even think about it.
Basically, anal plugs are not for the vanilla soft-serve style sexers, but more for the inquisitive mattress mavens—someone who doesn’t find inserting a piece of plastic in their butt uncomfortable (in theory and action).But I mentioned them to my reader-friend, and suggested if that’s something she thinks she is interested in, she should look into a very very small anal plug. She went out and got one of those kits that come with three different sizes so you can ease yourself into it gradually. She told me that even the small seemed pretty large. So, I recommended to her the Pop Plug (size small, of course). Read more…
Cohabitation; the Anti Sex?
My goal in life is to be one half of a randy old couple. I want to still be having sex when I am old and wrinkled. But stereotypes say once you’re shacked up and shackled, sex falls to the bottom of your to-do list. A stale sex life is one of my greatest relationship fears, after divorce or maybe death of my partner.
It’s easy for your sex life to take a hit when you move in together, especially if living together is less than dreamy. Your partner won’t clean or worse, they are obsessively clean. Their habits start to grate on your nerves, and you’re picking trivial fights. I mean, who wants to deliver some mid-afternoon fellatio when you spent the morning picking their hair out of the shower drain? Not I. Read more…
Stuff I Get Off On: The Hitachi Magic Wand
For those of you who don’t speak sex toy, the Hitachi Magic Wand is the Cadillac of toys; Super fun to drive, even if it is a bit bulky and out-dated. This bad boy still plugs into the wall—that’s how out-dated it is, and the box it comes in looks like it’s straight from the 80s, equipped with pictures of spandex clad ladies massaging their calves with it. One, everyone knows you don’t use the Hitachi in a PG fashion and Two, who the heck actually massages their calves? Read more…