I originally wrote this post for my Lusty Vegan column on iEatGrass.com

Keep the pie in your belly and off your face…

Uhm, any vegans out there dating a non vegan? How many of you have NEVER dated another vegan? According to our super scientific iEG research, that is about 60 percent of us—yikes! If you’re a vegan dating an omnivore, chances are your veganism comes up. A lot. I find in my own relationship, veganism most often makes an appearance around mealtime. And as someone who loves food, well I can get pretty passionate (read: bitchy) about what is on my plate. What can I say? I am fiery! To combat this personality trait, I have spent a lot of time figuring out how I can avoid fighting about my food. Of course, it doesn’t always work out…

A few weeks back, my guy and I were headed out to eat at some burger bar my boyfriend found that has a reputably good homemade vegan burger, along with regular fleshy fare. On the way, we walked by ‘Snice—a vegan eatery I have been wanting to try for a while. I suggested we go there instead, and P made an offhand comment about wanting to eat “real” food. At this point, I was beyond hungry, and extremely irritable (see: hangry) and I really let him have it. In public, no less! “If you want meat, just say you want meat, don’t tell me the food I eat isn’t REAL!” I was hyperventilating on the side walk.

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I prefer their Austin Armacost Campaign…

Well, PETA has completely outdone itself. The animal rights organization has long been known to use sex to sell veganism, using porn stars in their ad campaigns, launching their own “porn” site, and having sexy activists in bikinis hit the streets in the name of animal cruelty. Last V-day, they made a big sexy deal about the benefits of going vegan with their campaign BWVAKTBOOM, meaning “boyfriend went vegan and knocked the bottom out of me.” The campaign—which some grumbled was a bit too violent—claimed that if your man goes vegan, you better wear a helmet and goggles because his baby batter will be so spunky it may damage your corneas. No really. Brace yourself.

But now, in honor of world vegan month, they have unleashed this video featuring men of all ages gyrating to a techno beat hung with giant phallic vegetables.

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Happy Thanksgiving everybody. I love any holiday that centers around food, and in America, that is every holiday. Unfortunately, traditional American Thanksgiving fare is not vegan. And while you can easily veganize most sides by omitting butter, it’s a bit harder with the main dish…Poor turkeys. So what’s a hungry vegan to do? Well you could go out and get a Tofurkey, but I refuse to eat anything with such a nonsensical name. Plus, they are full of processed crap and come out of the frozen food section. No thanks! Here is what I am making for Thanksgiving.

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“Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble…Oh, and KALE!” – Macbeth

I tried to write a post like this last winter, in which I gave a list of the kinds of things I throw in my soup pot to make it tasty. But I am going to try again, and do this better. You see, I love a great tomato-based vegetable soup, but it’s the kind of dish I hate having a recipe for. This is because it’s really hard to screw up a basic tomato-based broth soup. The more things you add, the more flavorful it becomes. “The more things you add?” You may be thinking… “So I can add a cup of chopped pickles to my tomato soup for added flavor?” Oh, gross, you know that’s not what I mean, stop being difficult.

Let me break down the category basics of what goes into a good tomato-based broth soup, so you can make it right every time, with what you have on hand, and impress all your friends as you whiz around the kitchen dumping things in a pot with no recipe like the fairy godmother of soup, or Hermione Granger, if she was domesticated. Soup wizard!

Lots of soup aficionados like to start their soup with a stock. However, I always start my soups with plain old water. If you simmer it for long enough, it becomes just as complex. Plus, I am lazy. Here we go!

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This post was originally published in my Lusty Vegan column on www.iEatGrass.com.

This counts as a date, right?

Last Friday night my roomie had some of her dude friends over to hang out before we all headed out to the bars. In between pretending I understand their jobs in finance, I overheard the following conversation:

Dude 1: Where’s Johnny?
Dude 2: Oh he’s on a date.
Dude 3: What!? With who?
Dude 2: That girl from the bar last weekend. He is taking her to Capital Grille…
Dude 1: He took her to Capital Grille on the first date?! That place is like 100 bucks a steak.
Dude 3: And I SAW that girl, she was not Capital Grille stuff.
Dude 2: Yeah, that girl was an Applebees.
Dude 1: Seriously. That girl was a Red Lobster. Capital Grille. What an idiot.

Needless to say, all of the women in the room were horrified. I then started bombarding them with questions. Do they really, truly decide where to take a girl on a date based on how attractive they are? Not how much they like them? Or their interests?

These guys were all between 23 and 26. And I have noticed a trend in men of this age and generation, and it is this: They rarely date. As in, take women on dates. And if they do, the dates are few and far in between.

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Gin salad; the ultimate coping mechanism?

Change has been a reoccurring topic of mine lately. From what I have experienced thus far, your twenties is a very tumultuous time as the world revolves around you and you move from an awkward pre-adult into full-fledged adulthood. Responsibilities shift, your social circle changes, and it’s often difficult to keep a firm grasp on who you are, and what you want. This is why many relationships are either cemented or broken in that gap between college and “real life”—you’re becoming a more solidified version of yourself. You, 2.0.

With that in mind, I had a very coming -of-agey weekend. One of those times you know you’re always going to remember fondly. I’m already nostalgic for it and it’s only Tuesday morning.

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Typical Friday night activity…Hot.

My goal in life is to be one half of a randy old couple. I want to still be having sex when I am old and wrinkled. But stereotypes say once you’re shacked up and shackled, sex falls to the bottom of your to-do list. A stale sex life is one of my greatest relationship fears, after divorce or maybe death of my partner.

It’s easy for your sex life to take a hit when you move in together, especially if living together is less than dreamy. Your partner won’t clean or worse, they are obsessively clean. Their habits start to grate on your nerves, and you’re picking trivial fights. I mean, who wants to deliver some mid-afternoon fellatio when you spent the morning picking their hair out of the shower drain? Not I.

But your sex life can even suffer when cohabitation is sheer bliss. All of a sudden, you’re living with your best friend, and it’s like slumber party mode all the time. Late night pillow talk and trashy TV marathons abound. But, unless your life is a pre-teen porno, slumber parties with your BFF usually end with only one kind of facial. (The boring kind.)

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