Things I Don’t Understand: Anal Tattoos


There are some things I just don’t understand. Like the obsession with putting bacon on dessert or why everyone makes a big deal about the sex appeal of Michael Phelps. But the most recent trend that makes me want to slam my head into my desk is anal tattoos. As in, getting a tattoo on your holiest of holes. Not on your cheeks, not peeking out above your crack a la stamp de tramp, but on the actual anal opening. Vomit into my coffee mug a bit.

I am completely behind self expression, tattoos, and the occasional anal party. But I also love sex and animals, and I don’t ever think those two should be combined.

At a recent tattoo expo, a 22-year old Florida woman got an anal tattoo with not one but two men’s names on it. And, according to her, it feels “so good.” One, I would like to know who these men are that don’t mind sharing her anal real estate. And two: so good? Call me a prude, but how?

I get the allure of pain as pleasure. And I actually enjoyed both the excitement and actual physical sensation of getting inked. But my tattoos are far, far from both entrances to my lady business. I can understand getting a tattoo of an asshole more than getting a tattoo on your asshole.

And WHO are you getting these stink inks for? Many say their tattoos are modes of self expression, but if you can’t see your artistic lovechild without a hand mirror and a few yoga sessions, then that explanation doesn’t cut if for me. So then are you getting it for the other people in your life who are blessed with regular anal viewings? Can’t you just cuddle? Are you really that desperate to do something different that this is what it has come to?

I really just DON’T get it. Please, someone explain this to me.

About the author  ⁄ Zoe

Zoe writes about food and sex on SexyTofu.com.

10 Comments

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    Totes giggled at “holiest of holes” <—maturity of a 5th grader

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    You crack me up! I watched this video yesterday with my husband and we couldn’t believe it. I don’t know what got me more, the tattoo itself or the fact she put 2 dudes names on it. I’m thinking she’s not overly selective in anything she does, from tattoos to men.. lol

    • Reply
      August 15, 2012

      Hah! I mean I don’t mean to rip this girl apart but when you tell the world about the name’s tattooed in and around your anus, you’re kinda of asking for it…

      • Reply
        August 15, 2012

        Well.. it’s not like she was doing it in hiding.. she showed the world..but sadly I don’t think she cares.

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    Reblogged this on Shanpagne all around and commented:
    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    This is SO funny! I can say that I have NEVER heard of getting your honey hole tattooed! So many things flash through my mind, and I’m boggled! What a strange thing! It trumps eyeball tattooing, by far.

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    AHAHAAHA I had never heard of this but ‘stink ink’ made my day!

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    LOL, yea… it’s more than just a little confusing.

  • Reply
    August 15, 2012

    LOL @ Stink Ink!!

  • Reply
    Crista
    August 15, 2012

    Everyone else commented on the anal ink, I’ll bring the bacon-on-dessert to light. Nasty.

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