What’s better than organic personal care products? Organic personal care products for your ladyparts! And by “personal care” I mean “will give you an orgasm.” That’s caring, right? I am really into this Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel from Blossom Organics, but I will admit I was nervous to try it because I had read mixed reviews on it. Some said it was ah-ahh-ahhhmazing, while others went all Smeagol with their feedback—“It burns!”
Also I am skeptical of “arousal gels” in general because the directions always read something like “put on your clitoris and rub.” I could put hair gel on my clitoris and if I rubbed long enough I am pretty sure it would lead to arousal. But I was excited to try this out anyway.
I have come to the decision that those who didn’t enjoy the tingling, mentholy sensation probably have really sensitive skin. I do not—I’m tough like ox. The gel made my ladyparts feel like they had had about 4 cups of coffee—super alert and aware. Every sensation was intensified, and game-time took about half as long as it normally would. When I was done, my boyfriend (thanks for guinea pigging with me, you wonderful man) asked how the product was and I am pretty sure I mumbled something half-coherent like “liquid sex crack!”
Now this is where it went a little loopy. You know how you’re supposed to pee after sex so you don’t get a UTI? If you didn’t know that, you know it now. Well, in the bathroom post test-run, I happened to look in the mirror and noticed something peculiar. I had a large, man-sized red handprint on my arm. I looked down to notice fingerprints on my thighs. While nothing hurt, and there was no red marks around my girlygoods (I told you, tough like ox) anywhere non-genital that the product had touched my skin was raised and red. If I hadn’t looked in the mirror and had just passed out in sweaty post-gasmy euphoria, I never would have noticed. This side effect is not enough to keep me from recommending the product, and it is certainly not enough to stop me from using it because like I said, liquid sex crack.