Can you please hurry up? Teen Mom comes on in 10 minutes.

Sex should be fun. If it isn’t fun it will seem like a chore and who really wants to vacuum the living room when they could be doing more enjoyable things, like playing a musical instrument or busting out in spontaneous dance moves or masturbating—because that’s always fun. Smell what I’m steppin’ in? No? Well here is a social experiment of sorts; an array of silly things to say during or right after sex. Bonus points if you can get your partner to laugh while still inside you. Or, you inside them depending on what you got hanging out down there.

1. You’re welcome
2. Ayiyiyiyiyi (Xena Warrior Princess war call)
3. I mentioned the camera, right?
4. Wow, your brother makes that same exact face
5. Is that on your resume?
6. Wow, my room-mate is right, you really do sound just like a monkey.
7. Expecto Patronum!!

That’s all I got right now. I probably should have mentioned that you really should never say any of these while having sex, unless the person you’re having sex with is equally as demented as you are. In which case, proceed! Please leave suggestions in comments.

7 points for gryffindor!

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