K told me this picture looks creepy. BUT she also tried to juice a banana so clearly her opinions lack validity.

So I’ve been trying to make better lifestyle choices recently. And by that I mean, less staying out to unreasonable hours, less drinking, less destructive behavior in general. In fact, just being home more often will benefit my sanity, my wallet and my cat, who I am pretty sure secretly hates me and my crazy lifestyle and is thus always wreaking havoc on my box spring and mattress.  

dastardly cat stalks kale

I am calling this total life makeover Operation Less Mess. With OLM in mind, I stayed in Friday night and invited two friends, C and K, over for a juicing party. C had been on a 20 day juice cleanse, which he managed to actually stick to minus Thanksgiving, and who could blame him for that? K had never juiced before. In fact, when she showed up at my place and took a look at my monster juicer (seriously, the Champion weighs at least 40 pounds…) she said “Oh, so we’re really making juice? I thought ‘juicing’ was slang for something really cool I didn’t even know about…” Have I mentioned before on here I am nearly completely in love with K? Platonically of course, although if you saw her naked you wouldn’t believe me.

Let me interject that this time last year, and the year before that, staying in on a Friday night to drink pineapple apple ginger kale juice would be pretty typical for me. But in the last 6 months my behavior has reverted to that of my freshman year of college, except worse because I can legally buy alcohol, and live in my own apartment instead of a dorm—an apartment which happens to be two blocks from my favorite dive bar. Last December I spent 8 hours a day working from home in my bathrobe, drinking copious amounts of green tea and falling asleep by 10 pm. And by 10 pm I mean 8:30. Real talk, I was 22 going on 87. I was also way healthier.

Okay, back to OLM and my juice party. C brought over kale, pineapple and apples. I had some ginger. We giggled and made a huge mess. K dripped fake blood all over her hand and pretended she juiced herself. I thought the juice was delicious. C and K whined about the ginger because apparently they are a buncha pansies and can’t handle any heat. Kidding! Sort of. In their defense, I did put a huge amount of ginger in—it’s good for your immune system and metabolism!

Pretty kale swirls

Okay now tell me—what are your favorite juices to make? Does your Champion juicer hate juicing kale as much as mine? How does your cat plot against you?

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