Please read (preferably aloud). This is what happens after a Tuesday night of decriminalized debauchery with K. The reason I find this so amusing is the blaring difference between the Wikipedia definition and the Urban Dictionary definition. I will never be able to look at udon noodles the same….

"8 will do"

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No Cruelty; No Eggceptions

I know a handful of “almost vegans.” These include friends and my super cool holistic doctor. They avoid all meat, and most dairy. What’s the one thing that makes up the majority of that 10 omnivorous percent? Eggs. For some reason, eating eggs just doesn’t seem as wrong to them as a filet or tenderloin or hunk o’ cheddar. Perhaps it’s their touted health benefits or the fact that they don’t have a tell-tale fleshy consistency. Or perhaps it’s that they taste so damn good fried, scrambled and poached. Who knows the reason for it, but eggs continue to squeak by the meat-o-meter for aspiring vegans. Which is why this whole Sparboe Farms investigation has struck such a chord with me—I obnoxiously sent it to a few of my friends who are constantly making eggceptions. Yep, I’m that girl.

An undercover investigation, put on by Mercy For Animals, brought forth some disturbing animal cruelty in the country’s fifth largest egg producer, and the egg distributor for bigwigs like McDonald’s, Target and Sam’s Club. The result? The companies dropped them. This is big freakin’ news for animal-loving activists all over, because not only have these companies recognized the tragedy occurring in factory farms (or at least THIS factory farm), but they are doing something about it by dropping them. In the past, I would have expected them to turn a blind eye or make false investigations and false demands for improvement—all tactics that have been done before to throw the public off the scent of exploitation.

I am not going to go into the gory details of what the undercover investigation brought forward, because it’s upsetting, and I’m sensitive dammit! But you can read about it here.

A quote: As the largest egg purchaser in the United States, McDonald’s has enormous power in effecting improved standards of care for egg-laying hens. Accordingly, MFA is also asking that McDonald’s actively support a recent agreement between the United Egg Producers and The Humane Society of the United States that seeks to establish federal regulations that would provide hens enough space to turn around, as well as environmental enrichments, such as perches and nesting boxes. The agreement is a modest but important first step in establishing minimal standards for care of birds on a federal level. Sadly, Sparboe Egg Farms is aggressively opposing the implementation of even these meager reforms to reduce animal suffering.

Hopefully this investigation—which has garnered some serious attention on Good Morning America, 20/20, and World News with Diane Sawyer—will encourage more people to cut factory farmed eggs (and maybe all eggs!! Yes? Maybe?) out of their diets. Not that I am a huge Mickey D fan, but I am glad they are taking a step in the right direction. Now if we could just get some insight on the practices of their beef and pork suppliers…

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