Fetish Friday: Exploring the Submissive


So I am excited for my first Fetish Friday post! I hope to be able to rustle up a fetishist to interview each week—so far, everyone I have reached out to has been eager to spill their freak beans, as long as everything is kept anonymous of course!

The following is an interview I had with a self-labeled “Submissive,” who I am going to call Barry. Barry is in his late 40s, is divorced, has three kids and works in finance. After talking with him I can’t help but wish I could interview his secretary…just kidding, that is so a (really hot) situational stereotype!

Z: So what does it mean to you to be a Submissive? Pretend I have no idea what you’re talking about and explain it to me in layman’s terms.
B: Basically it means in order to get off, I need to be dominated. This means finding a dominant partner, who in the kinkster scene is called a Dom. The Dom takes complete control.

Z: The kinkster scene! I love it. Sounds like a band. So you’re the slave, then.
B. Yep, pretty much.

Z: When did you discover your fetish?
B: I mean I guess I always preferred to have a woman take charge, but I was always nervous to take it to its full extent until I was married and completely comfortable.

Z: Its full extent?
B:  Basically a Submissive is supposed to present themselves to their Dom as a gift. The Dom has complete control, then. I won’t get into all of the details since I don’t want to blow my cover! But if you know anything about BDSM, you can imagine.
 
Z: Have your partners always been supportive?
B: Well I am divorced. Joking! Yes usually they don’t mind, although those who don’t get high specifically from dominating have gotten bored with it, or expressed a wish to switch the balance of power.

Z: And would you?
B: Yes, but it doesn’t really do it for me. Since I have gotten older and really narrowed down what it is I need, I specifically look for Dom partners. It just makes for a better bond, sexually.

Z: Any idea of why this is your particular fetish? Sometimes people like to psychoanalyze themselves.
B: I mean it started pretty young, but the only thing that I can think of is that in my career, I am in control of and responsible for almost everything that goes on. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else take the reigns.

Z: How extreme would you consider yourself? I know submissives can range from a more mellow bottom-only type to the full blown gimp.
B: I would put myself somewhere in the middle. I definitely don’t have any headgear with zippers or leather body suits, but I really can’t be  satisfied unless I feel completely controlled.

Z: So you would never don a facemask?
B: Never say never! If I was dating an extreme Dom, and they suggested it, I would try it. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

Z: So, do you have a code word if things get out of hand?
B: Of course. But I’ll never give it away.

Have a fetish? Wanna be interviewed for a Fetish Friday? Wanna guess Barry’s code word? I tried… Please email me at Sexytofublog (at ) Yahoo.com. But don’t email me asking for Barry’s info…this is not a social network for fetishists! (If that’s what you’re looking for, try www.FetLife.com.)

About the author  ⁄ Zoe

Zoe writes about food and sex on SexyTofu.com.

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