Everyone else is eating cheese (image by graur razvan ionut)

I am a pretty awkward person. I make awkward jokes and references to things nobody else understands, and then I laugh at them alone. On Friday I was at the bank next to my office where I go to deposit my whopping free-lance checks during lunch, and the teller tried to chat me up. I drool over him every time I go in there, partially because he is a fox (he looks some sort of juicy middle-eastern ethnicity), and because he is rocking a wedding ring so that makes him completely off limits. So he starts making small talk. Probably he was just being friendly, but it made me nervous anyways. “So you work around here?” he said. “yes, do you?” I responded. To THE BANK TELLER. He then looked at me like I had something hanging out of my nose. (I probably did.)

Right before that, as I was heading out to do my bank errands/make an ass out of myself in front of saucy teller, my boss reminded me to be back by 2:30 as we are having Flying Saucers for a coworker’s birthday. “Great, I won’t miss that!” I said. “Even though I will just be standing around awkwardly while you all eat your ice-cream and repetitively ask why I am not partaking!” I continued. “Veganism is so socially awkward sometimes,” I finished. Luckily, my boss laughed (she at least pretends I am funny).

Real talk: Unless I am surrounded by other vegans, I usually feel sort of awkward turning down food. I do it anyways, but usually I feel a bit of judgement coming my way. I have found that veganism makes people nervous, as if I am judging them–I am not, I swear! I don’t sit around saying “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO PIGS/WHAT IS IN YOUR MILK/HOW MANY BYCATCH SEA CREATURES DIE SO YOU CAN EAT THAT SPICY TUNA ROLL?” so I hate when I hear “but like, how do you get your protein/no wonder you’re so skinny/What about cheese?!”

So, yeah, office food parties are always awkward for me. I have only been here about 4 months, so I wonder what will happen in April when my birthday rolls around–assuming I last that long and don’t get fired because of the contents of my browser history (Friday on my lunch break I spent 40 minutes reading up on gimps and BDSM for my gimp post…). What? I was on lunch!

Any other vegans ever feel awkward about their vegan status? I want to hear your awkward vegan moments! Or just awkward moments in general…I once tried to get a pen out of my purse in class and accidentally flung a tampon at the boy next to me. It hit him in the face.

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