courtesy of Roland Darby

Recently I discussed how I am a bit of a serial monogamist and don’t enjoy being single for long, as I am really pretty bad at having casual sex. Well, the sex is usually good, but I’m pretty terrible at keeping it casual. Anyway, if you are a rational person you might think that not liking casual sex is akin to not liking to feel slutty! Oh, how you are wrong!

I actually love feeling slutty. You see, most people don’t realize that slutty and “easy” are too very different things. Important note: There is nothing wrong with being “easy!” Sleep with whoever you want, whenever you want! No judgements. But easy and slutty are two different things. One who is easy is, well, bouncing into bed with ease. One who is slutty is uninhibited, a master of their bedroom prowess, playful, creative and confident. Someone who is easy can still insist on the missionary position with the lights off—they just may insist on doing it with the better portion of their college football team and/or the first girl that looks in their direction on any given Friday night. Again, non judgements! Sometimes going home with the first acceptable candidate is a terrific idea… But someone who is slutty may only have slept with a small handful of people, or just one person!—yet is into trying new things, showing off what they’ve got and looks at sex with the same sense of curiosity and gusto they would any other aspect of their life.

So you see, I get to feel super slutty whenever I want, within the comfort of my own relationship, and without the feeling like I may or may not be contracting Chlamydia!

Let me stop my incessant rambling… here are a handful of ways you can be a super slut without being super easy. Or you can be both slutty AND easy. More power to you.

5 ways to release your inner slut:

1. Be Open. A slut is up for just about anything and looks at new experiences as a challenge to be met. Whether you take direction from your partner or come up with your own fresh plan of action—propping a mirror at the foot of the bed for a racy visual, dirty talking in a false british accent (hot or annoying? You tell me!) or playing with a new toy—a slut is unpredictable and spontaneous.

2. Exude Confidence. Sluts don’t hide under the covers—they are comfortable in their skin. Hanging around in the nude or stomping about in lingerie and heels should make you feel super-saucy—even if you’re alone. And don’t forget dudes can be sluts too…maybe no heels, but put on whatever makes you feel hot. Suspenders for a little Magic Mike action? I donno, whatever gets you!

3. Get Verbal.
 Sluts aren’t only having sex, they are talking about it too. Whether that means amping up the dirty talk while in the bedroom, dishing about it with friends or telling your man(or woman!) friend what you want to do to them later—verbalizing your sexuality is a good thing. While sipping coffee at a cafe or having dinner with your friends/lesbian god-mother/parents, quietly telling your man what you plan on doing to him when you get home. Ooh, and I love drunk sexting.

4. Be Mistake-Free.
A true slut will never look at a past sexual experience as a mistake; it was something that seemed fun at the time, and you learned from it—or at least had a really awesome time. No regrets for you!

5. Love Being Slutty. Unlike someone who feels embarrassed or insecure about their sexuality, a slut is proud of who they are and what they want. They enjoy taking chances, exploring new outlets and being free to do what (and whom) they choose. For instance, a slut never feels obligated to perform any sexual favor… They either don’t do it, or they do it with a naughty grin on their face.  However, and this is key, a slut knows their limits. If there is something you truly are against doing—anal sex or that threesome with your college room mate your boyfriend keeps suggesting—put your slutty little foot down. No means no!

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