Fetish Confession: The Power of Porn

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At first I wasn’t sure if porn could even be considered a fetish because, well, it is so mainstream! It is like calling the missionary position with your pajama top on and the lights off kinky!

I mean, 90 percent of people look at porn at some point! (60 percent of statistics are made up on the spot because writers are too lazy to do substantial research and would rather get on with the topic at hand especially when it is as juicy as porn!). But then I decided to look up the actual definition of fetish to see if porn qualifies.

fet·ish

[fet-ish, fee-tish] –noun

Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

The English word was derived from the French fétiche, and the Portuguese feitiço which means sorcery. How delicious! Okay back to porn.

image from askmen.com

I used to watch porn on mute in the 7th grade at slumber parties with my girlfriends and do funny voice-overs for the conversations we thought the stars could be having. Once, in highschool, my best friend and I found a few porn dvds (Asian Deepthroat and something in Spanish I couldn’t understand) in the parking lot of the Fitness 4000. I kept them throughout college to make people feel awkward—and by awkward I mean secretly aroused!—at parties. When my dad found them I blamed it on my older brother. When I was young, porn led me to think all women should shave off every bit of their pubic hair so they resemble little girls. Once, I decided to check out an old boyfriend’s porn roster while he was in the shower and found that he had been searching for porn under the term “Big Dicks.” Hmm. Porn also ruined (in the beginning) my perception of what the male genitalia should look like, causing me to be severely—and I mean severely—disappointed upon my first hands-on (tehehehe) encounter. Also, I think people who solely use porn as a masturbatory aid are lazy and unimaginative. I would rather use my own imagination as an aid, which allows me to be creative and in control. Nothing worse than getting in your groove just to have some nasty un-showered looking guy with an 80s stache, high socks and  American Flag boxers roll onto the screen and ruin what you had going.  Get outta me! In conclusion,  most porn doesn’t really turn me on, but obviously I can see its appeal.

There is tons of weird porn out there. Midget porn. Pregnant porn. Tentacle porn. Food porn. Two girls one cup (gag, you couldn’t pay me to put that link on here. Okay, yes you could, 50 bucks). Animal Porn. Balloon porn. Veggie porn. Porn I don’t even know about because I don’t spend my after-work hours in a damp basement with a Costco-sized bottle of lube.

While watching porn is not something you should brag about (probably not a good hobby to list on an online dating site..), it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s natural to be curious. Unless of course it has debilitating side effects that impact your social/love/work life, in which case it would fall under the category of addiction, and you should get some help with that.

Watching porn together can be a nice way to spice up your sex-life, and acting out scenes from a fav. flick can be interesting too. However, I would suggest that, if you want to propose a porn party to your other-half, you start with a milder porn. If that goes over well, then you can get into the raunchier stuff. Or not. Nothing wrong with playing it safe.

Porn can evict some powerful feelings. Aside from the obvious sexual ones, it can bring up shame from being conditioned that porn is a dirty dirty thing (thus making it more appealing!). Porn can also bring up anger and insecurity…I have some female friends who get pissed when their boyfriends watch porn. I would prefer my boyfriend watches  porn when he wants to see someone besides me naked than call up an ex or take home some girl from a divey bar only to find out she may or may not be a man but be so drunk he goes for it anyways. What?

About the author  ⁄ Zoe

Zoe writes about food and sex on SexyTofu.com.

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