Not everybody sees a correlation between food and sex. For me, the connection is so clear I often have trouble articulating it—like the fact that Natalie Portman is the.sexiest.woman.ever. For me, it’s just an unarguable truth.
So whenever I find a like-minded individual who shares my lust for good food and sees its connection to sex, I get all kinds of hopped up. Once, while sharing a lazy spoon with a just-sexed lover, I happened to mention my view that sex and food are of equal importance.
“Right, they both provide essential nourishment,” he agreed. Ding ding ding! The boy scored more points than he did fifteen minutes earlier, when he proved the ability to screw me standing up.
Both food and sex provide the type of irreplaceable nourishment that the body craves. They can both make you feel satisfied and satiated. It’s one of the reason some unhappy, lonely people find solace in food while others try and fill voids in their life by going home with strangers, coworkers and hotties from their acting class (even though they know they will never call them again).
Just as a healthy relationship with food and sex can bring about peace and tranquility in the mind and body, an unhealthy tumultuous relationship with either can be dangerous both physically and mentally.
If someone develops an unhealthy relationship with food a plethora of problems can begin, including a variety of eating disorders and a damaged self-esteem and body image. The same goes for sex—people who are unable to maintain a healthy view of their sexuality can either attempt to repress it, creating a slew of psycho and emotional issues, or express it with people who are perhaps undeserving, evoking feeling of negative self worth.
Like creating and following a balanced diet of whole grains, proteins and fats, there are many factors that go into a healthy sex life. You need a degree of confidence (to both attract partners and create your own feel-good vibes), a feeling of self worth, some form of contraception to keep yourself healthy and—if this is what you’re looking for—some type of positive relationship, affection or degree of love for your partner. Just like a balanced diet, it’s good to get creative to reduce boredom, and the more you do it (eat healthy/get off), the easier/better it gets!
To further highlight this, let me point out the occasionally unavoidable antithesis of a healthy diet/sex life: the binge.
You can have the best of intentions for your diet or your sex life (I will not eat processed, sugary snacks/I will not have drunken sex with strangers) but every now and then, a slip up is bound to occur. You will find yourself hungry at an office party where the only available thing to eat is a plate full of store-bought cupcakes, or you will find that bright-eyed bendy flexy dude from your yoga class absolutely irresistible—despite the fact that he seems to know it. You cave. You eat an entire plate of cupcakes or spend your weekend in bed with yoga-dude KNOWING he will not respect you for it and you will hate yourself come Monday.
Of course, not everybody has these complex relationships with food and sex. Everyone knows that girl (or guy) who eats whatever they want without ever feeling bad, and sleeps with as many people as they want with no negative feelings–no guilty conscience, no omg-I-am-so-getting-cancer/fat/herpes mindset the morning after. Good for them–but we can’t all be that cool.
For the rest of us: How do you rebound from a super-indulgent binge back into a healthy relationship with food and sex? With confidence and reason. It would not be helpful for your body or your psyche (although many people do it) to think “shit, I messed up my healthy eating routine, so I may as well continue my junk-food binge,” or “well, I slept with one person who doesn’t care about me, may as well continue…”.
A confident, reasonable person will think “one (or four) cupcakes is not going to give me cancer or make my ass swell like I’ve been stung by more bees than Macaulay Culkin in My Girl.” Someone who understands their self-worth can go “eh, so what if bendy-flexy dude never calls me again. At least I can cross a weekend-sexathon with sexy pseudo-stranger off of my bucket list.”
Don’t crumple into a heap of self-loathing tears. Simply refocus your attention to cultivating a nourishing, positive relationship with both food, and sex. A couple slip-ups along the way are only natural.